Judge — May 18, 1901 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. Terms to Subscribers. one year, or $2 numbers opy. nix monthey or 36 numbe 9y. for thirteen weeks ~~ Pectoding the Cuarstmas Juve FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS — To all Wasraan Ornce—Henry Bright, manager, Boyce bu Binorain sncassourtefatovonationel ves company, Chicago. ‘gbuilding, Chancery lane, "back's mews exchange, Maine, CORNER FIPTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. £2 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly Ia the world. e- NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Juve: both the United States and Great 8. Infringement of this ¢ vigorously prosecuted. protected by copyright In right will be promptly and CONTRIBUTORS must Inclose a stamped and self-addressed envelope with all manuscripts, otherwise retura of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guare anteed. BRIDGE WHIST is the pons asinorum to our best society. ANTEIMPERIALISM is dying — can’t. possibly last much longer—but Agui- naldo must not now expect to be remembered in its will. soe CoLon EL: *TEDDY* ROOSEVELT is now a third-degree mason, He is laying a rock-bottom foun- dation on which to build his future. ly Wi} Wh il THE AFRIKANDER BOND is protesting against the aggressive mili- tarism of the British in the Cape Colony. It beats the Dutch! cee eee D!PLomacy’ will go to London,” it is announced in the dramatic news of the day. Well, they need it there, especially in the Foreign Office. ee, Nw eee EMPEROR WILLIAM'S PORTRAIT, in a mo- saic group, has been erected in an asylum for the blind, near Berlin. Wagner con- certs for the deaf and dumb may be inaugurated later. eee PARIS INTERVIEWERS report J. Pierpont Morgan as being “ visibly annoyed" at the report circulated in the United States to the effect that he is suffering from enlargement of the heart. [7 DID NOT JAR the Sultan perceptibly when the recent earthquake at Constantinople toppled over minarets like ten-pins and caused palace-walls to bulge and roofs to fall in. Nothing short of being forced to pay an indemnity can feaze him. Tourist—"* How?” Bronco Bit HE SPRINGFIELD REPUBLICAN fears that the native New Eng- land Yankee is dying out, like the Redskin and the buffalo, Don't worry! That is merely a shrewd Yankee trick to cause appreciation of the. value of the breed by ratio of its supposed scarcity. ROBERT Cc. OGL of New York has been touring the Southern States with a Wild North show—the real thing, including such noted bucks as “Doc.” Parkhurst, Albert Pshaw, and Walter H. Page. This unrivaled aggregation astonished the natives down there, who were espe- cially diverted by Parkhurst's realistic attack upon the Manhattan Dead- wood coach, pS: GETTING OUT BKonco BILL (of Frozen Dog)—" 1 allers try ter git out uv a fight if I kin.” ** By drawin’ quick an’ shootin’ straight.” MILITARISM VS. THE MOSQUITO. URGEON-GENERAL STERNBERG has formally notified his sub- ordinates that hereafter the existence of malaria at any army-post will prove that his previous orders for the destruction of mosquitoes have been disobeyed. New Jersey ought to be put under martial law. TO OUR BOSTON FRIEND. A BOSTON FRIEND writes to JupcE: “I am not an Englishman, lacking a sense of humor; but I would very much like to know if the drawings signed ‘Gus Dirks’ are really funny, and if so, why? Secondly, 1 wish to know whether Mr, Penrhyn Stanlaws is willing to sell the rubber stamps with which he makes all his women—so delicately, too!—and at what rate per dozen?” We have never asked Mr. Dirks, and he does not furnish explanatory diagrams with his picture-chronicles of Mr. Bug and the animals; but our impression is that he offers them to science as serious studies in un-natural history. Our Boston friend may be interested in the appreciation, on this matter, of Monsieur Coquelin, the illustrious French actor, who says in a recent letter to JUDGE: “I feel a real tenderness for those little animal, bird and insect friends who are made to act and talk so wittily by Gus Dirks—a pictorial humorist akin to Lafontaine, and whom our admirable fabulist would surely have asked to illustrate his fables.” As for Mr. Stanlaws, it is not likely he would be willing to part with those “Girl” stamps of his, since the exclusive possession of them enables him to produce infinite variations on a single airy theme of femininity. ADVICE TO ANDREW. ANDREW. CARNEGIE is seriously considering the philanthropic project of en- dowing a theatre—or rather twin theatres, one in London and one in New York. Thus his troubles will not come singly. Of course, on general principles, we are bound to encourage this idea of An- drew’s, as he would make an angel of the good old kind whose visits, the “JUDGE'S Favorites” assure us, are only too few and far between. At the same time it is but fair that we should give him a friendly word of warning as to the obstacles looming up in his pathway. Well, Andrew, you must know that the theatrical prop- osition is vastly more compli- cated than the library one— though the two have indeed something in common since scissors versions of “novels of the year” are the main lit- erary staple of the dramatic stage. There is only one other available source from which to obtain new plays. and that is the agencies con- trolling the output of the European capitals—London, Paris, Berlin, Vienna. ‘These are strong problem pieces, mostly based upon violations of the Seventh Commandment—and you know the American public is absurdly squeamish on that point, besides having an old-fashioned prejudice against vulgarity, blasphemy, and salaciousness. Flat stupidity and pointless satiré our playgoers are accustomed to, so the London come- dies and melodramas go fairly well here. And then, Andrew, you may want to have actors—though some of our Broadway theatres get along without them. Unfortunately, about all the competent leading-men in the profession are either tied up with back debts and petitions of bankruptcy, or else on the law limits for bigamy and non-payment of alimony. As for the actresses, they are too busy marrying English titles and American mill- ions to devote themselves seriously to what they call their art. Another difficulty, Andrew, will be with the ticket speculators—those bold, bad men who corner all the best seats for every performance of any play the public really wants to see, so that the struggling playgoer actually pays three or four dollars for what nominally costs two dollars, and is seldom worth one. And of course the managers are helpless. ‘Taking these and other things into consideration, it does seem, An- drew, old chap, that the most direct way of benefiting the people who would chiefly profit by your theatrical endownfent would be to build (and insure) a clothing-store, a pawnbroker's shop, and a synagogue. comicbooks.com