Judge, 1901-04-20 · page 7 of 16
Judge — April 20, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches mocking marriage and gender relations: **"What She Complained Of"** depicts a Cumberland Mountain woman unhappily married to a worthless man. The satire targets her predicament: she's trapped because he'd "starve" without her farm, yet he lacks the courage to have even proposed—*she* initiated the marriage. The joke reflects period anxieties about women's limited agency: even when economically superior, a woman cannot easily escape a bad marriage. **"Tasted Better"** is a brief doctor joke about a child taking medicine disguised in pie rather than straight. **"In Topsyturvy Land"** shows inverted social propriety, with Mr. Boynton recommending young women as sweeter companions than men. **"When a Man Wishes He Had Never Been Born"** depicts male gallantry backfiring: a man carries heavy luggage for a woman, only to learn she could have asked her delicate son Willie—making his effort pointless. The satire mocks both excessive chivalry and women's casual ingratitude. Overall, the page ridicules marriage dynamics and gender relations through working-class and absurdist scenarios.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHAT SHE COMPLAINED OF. “Don't worry,” she ain't no account, that’s all. TASTED BETTER, Docror—"* Did you take that rhubarb I ordered?” Litre Frep—"* Yes, sir; I took it in pie form.” WAS taking dinner at a_ hillside . farm-house in the Cumberland Mountains, and the head of the family was waiting on me. She was rather a wholesome-looking woman of forty, but not beauti- ful in her facial accomplishments, and she scemed to have a tem- per that was constantly at the losing point. As she moved about the table I talked to her, as any man would, “Are you a widow?” I in- quired after a while, when I had seén no man about the place. “ Might as well be,” she re- plied with some asperity. “Has your husband left you?" “No sich luck.” “Oh!” 1 exclaimed, embarrassed and apolo- id reassuringly. “ He jist she just couldn't bear to do it. nie “Why don't you drive him out ?” suggested, feeling that I had her sym- pathy. “He'd plumb starve, he would,” she explained. “Why not get tid of him by mix- ing him up in a feud?” “He hain't got sand enough in his craw.” “He must have had some, or he never would have mustered up cour- age enough to ask a woman to be his wife.” “ He didn’t.” “He didn’t?” I repeated in surprise. “No, he didn’t. IN TOPSYTURVY LAND. Mr. Bonson—" Try one of the young ladies, Mis You'll find them much sweeter than the chappies.” You see, | wuz a widder at the time, and widders is al'ays power eo << NEN AFTER SHE ‘**LANDED" ON HIM. Pat—"* Darlint, see phat you've done now—you've broken th’ shtove !" WHEN A MAN WISHES HE HAD NEVER BEEN BORN: After he has gallantly carried two heavy valises eight or ten blocks fora woman, and then, on arrival at the station, is told that she would have asked her son Willie to carry them, but Willie is so delicate (** Delicate” Willie can b: seen coming down the path.) mighty focety and forrerd about marryin’, and the fust thing he knowed I had him.” “Then he is not altogether to blame?” I ventured. ‘No I reckon not. He knowed I owned this farm and wuz thrifty, and I hain't com- plainin’ about Asm. I'd ‘a’ done jist what he done. It’s me that I'm complainin’ about. Jist to think that, atter livin’ sensible fer forty years, I should turn out to be a nateral-born fool atter all. Women is funny critters, ain’t they?” “ They are, they are!" I ad- mitted with fervor. “Air you married?" she asked. “No,” I responded sadly. She looked at me rather ad- miringly, I thought.“ They air funny critters, fer a fact,” she said, and went out after a crock of milk. WILLIAM J. LAMPTON, comicbooks.com