Judge, 1901-04-20 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 20, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"A Helpful Hypothesis"**: Mocks absent-minded academics. An astronomy lecturer at Cooper Union repeatedly fails to hear a questioner asking about the Milky Way. When someone finally shouts "Condensed milk!" the crowd roars with laughter—suggesting the lecturer was so inattentive he wouldn't notice the absurdity. **"Had the Coin"**: A brief jab at J.P. Morgan, the wealthy industrialist and famous art/coin collector, implying his wealth defines him. **Other sketches**: Include wordplay jokes ("One never changes a cent"), commentary on book-reading habits, and satirical verses mocking unrequited love for wealthy women requiring "minted gold." **Advertisements**: The page includes vintage product ads (Bawthn's Soap, liquor cure) integrated with cartoons—common in Judge. The overall tone reflects Gilded Age humor targeting academics, the wealthy, and social pretension through gentle ridicule and puns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A HELPFUL HY- POTHESIS. T WAS at a popular evening lecture on as tronomy at Cooper Union. “The lecture was over, and the lecturer stood alert and ready to answer the questions that are always sure to come. “The Milky Way, where it is denser, is it not"—— Here the questioner dropped his voice and the rest was inaudible, The lecturer leaned forward slightly and said: “1 beg your pardon? “The Milky Way, where it is denser, is it not"—— queried the same timorous voice with the same fall- ing inflection. And again the lecturer leaned forward slightly and said: “1 beg your pardon?" Breathless silence and expectation in the crowded hall. HAD THE COIN. “There goes the largest coin-collector in the United States.” Who is he?” "J.P. Morgan.” Wir Pottywoc—" Oh, mamm: That little baby has no tail any more,” “The Milky Way, where it is denser, is it not "—— “Condensed mitk{* came in stentorian tones from the same part of the room; and the roar of laughter which followed effectually disposed of all further attempts on the part of the first speaker. AN IMPOSSIBILITY. ‘6] NEVER change my mind!” roared he To his wife's argument. ** Too small, of course,” said she. “One never changes a cent.” WEEDING THEM OUT. ** HAVE you a list of Fifty Best Books?" he said to the book-seller. “No, I haven't,” replied the latter. “Do you wish to order them 2” : “No; I wish to look at it in order to know what books to avoid.” ha Mh , PROOF POSITIVE. oy ily he Mell Gla’ Jaggles— How do you know you have found the cheapest tailor in town?” Unete Jositva Joxes—" Now jus’ look at that! Thin quarrelin’, an’ both on ‘em too proud to M’agg/es— Russell Sage gets his clothes from make up.” “ps, “| fi nt, ue TO THE UNATTAIN- ABLE. A?OvE me, goddess-like, thou 3 CURES DESIRE FOR LIQUOR Disdainful, proud and cold, Z PEAPECTEY HARMLENS Who gains the windings to thy heart Must pay in minted gold. yt CLEANS ESF Vet through thy glass, beloved one, Bab Nn ye Zoe Of fashion and of form, “ iil ‘There glows the ardor of the sun, Le hy vita ss scaypamerer™ . The lightning of the storm, ey i udatlat (at . yee af 5 y % e Aart Www Z Pas Ab1 weep ‘for one who loves thee AAS EQN D a eg WR much, ¢ 4 y Whose gold has fled with hope ; — Who only in his dreams may touch - Thy shoulder's silv'ry slope. And let him but once more behold Thine praised, well -drawn h ead, And show ‘the unbound brow of gold E re Za For him unfilleted. e . —- A mee ya : A PERVERSION OF CASH. Oh, come and give thy spirit’s kiss, Bap Srockixs—"* Weary !" My extra dry champagne! Wrary (sleepiiy)- Jh MANGAMET KIDGRLY SCHOTT Bab SrockiNs—" Jus’ ink uv de mixed-ale jags yer cud buy wid de money w'ot's wasted advertisin’ darn-fool t'ings!” comicbooks.com