Judge, 1901-03-30 · page 5 of 16
Judge — March 30, 1901 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous sketches satirizing American social behaviors and character types: **"A Bad Break"** mocks fastidious Victorian-era women obsessed with propriety—a prim lady repeatedly opens and closes her reticule (purse) to retrieve smelling salts and count her change, embodying excessive fussiness. **"The Way of It"** satirizes class conflict and gender hypocrisy: a refined woman's contempt for an odoriferous working-class man backfires when he deliberately misses his stop and leaves injured, yet she blames his "common horse-sense" rather than acknowledging her own rudeness. **"Too Much!"** and **"Up Near the Pole"** are brief joke sketches about cyclists and arctic exploration mishaps. **"He Wanted a Whisky-Sling"** plays on miscommunication between a patient with a fractured arm and a surgeon, with bawdy double meaning. The overall theme critiques American social pretension, particularly among the respectable middle class, using exaggerated situations and working-class dialect to deflate Victorian stuffiness.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A BAD BREAK PARSON Jounson— I will open de '— Deacon ‘Jaci PARSON ON (drowsily)— 1 ll stay! Gimme fo’ kards!” fectly proper bottle of smelling-salts, closed the reticule, applied the vial to her nostrils, opened the reti- cule, put back the bottle, and then closed the reticule, When the conductor came around, a moment later, she again opened the reticule, extracted her purse therefrom shut the reticule, opened the purse, took out a quar- ter, handed it to the conduct- or, closed purse, opened reticule, put F in purse, and closed ret- UP NEAR THE POLE. Doc—* Gee! he must be awful mad. See how he shows his teeth.” TOO MUCH! Se YOU'LL get run in,” said the cyclist to A man who hadnt a light “And you, too; run into * And the wreck was an awful sight And a policeman. having nothing to do, Joined the scrimmage at once and ran in two LA TOUCHE HANCOCK, THE WAY OF IT. HE was a maiden of sundry years, prim, precise and immaculate ; he was a tub-shaped odoriferous-looking man red-nosed and snarly. She halted the street-car with an imperious wave of her reticule, and after seating herself and gazing for a moment in evident disap- roval at the odoriferous- ooking man, opened her reticule, took out a per- you'll get THE suRGEON—' THE PATIENT—* 7 icule.. When the conduct- or handed her the change she carefully counted it, then opened reticule, took out purse, closed reticule, opened purse, counted change again, put it in purse, closed purse, opened reti- cule, put in purse, and once more closed reticule. The odoriferous-lcoking man watched her scornfully, opened his mouth, nearly said some- gE SN mgt! — EY Fs HE WANTED A WHISKY ~ SLING.” ‘An’, miss, av ye plaze, put more phiskey than wather in it.” Miss Jinkins, you may bring a sling. This man’s arm is pretty badly fractured.” ene putin fouNsoN—"* —De meetin’ wif prayer fo' de salvation ob Brudder Jackson.” THE HYPERBOLE OF LOVE. Miss Cent— But I thought you loved that bright Miss Dime? Nev Nicket— ‘ My darling, you are worth ten of her."* thing, thought better of it, closed mouth, and within himself made certain un- complimentary references to the palpable dumbfool- ishness of womankind in general. Then, suddenly discovering that he had been carried past his des- tination, he hopped up, jumped off from the car backwards,tumbled down: splitting his coat for some considerable distance up the back, and limped off uttering unseemly lan- guage. Thereupon the prim, precise and immac- ulate maiden audibly re- marked upon the awful paucity of common horse- sense displayed by the average man. TOM P. MORGAN, OFFEE and political principles should have good grounds, comicbooks.com