Judge — March 16, 1901 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Improved BOSTON GARTER The Standard for Gentlemen ALWAYS EASY The Name “ BOSTON Lies flat to the leg—never Slips, Tears nor Unfastens. SOLD EVERYWHERE. ‘Sample hee. DSS-Every PAIR WARRANTED“ OR | Old man —" Why not?” cided never to become President of the United How often is ambition crushed, And in a single minute, By some blunt sage who simply says, * There ain't no money in it.” —Arkansaw Thos, Cat, According to the New York Evening Post, Mark Twain has stood. before ‘kings. Asa general rule, however, it is a good deal safer to stand behind them,— Loutsville Courter Journal, William D. Howells asks, ** Why should any one love New York?" Well, if we have only one guess, Mr. Howells, we will say because Yonkers Statesman, Insurance-agent—" We can't insure you.” Insurance-agent— “You are ninety-four years old." Old man— | “What of that? Statistics will tell you that fewer men die at _ninety-four than at any other uge."—London Ttd-Bits, Gotham —'* 1 see Grover Cleveland has de- ates again.” Church —"* Where did you see that?” “Gotham —* Why, he made a speech, the other night, in which he said the country could never be the same again.” — Yonkers it isa respectable distance from Boston.— Statesman, | 7 I The Hartford Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. Balttmore, Md. That's All! SAPS GPS A SRL TAS EN UE Hartford Tires: Represent everything that can be desired in a perfectly comfortable, practical, honest tire. Rubber Works Cotmend ean, acca Di alttnalty Resmi BROTHER DICKEY'S SUNDAY SAYINGS. Ef hit wuzn't fer de hope what's ahead er us some folks would be ten dollars behind time er’ day in de week.—De worl’ is doin’ de bes’ hit kin wid de material on han’. De only trouble is, some er de material is mighty po’ timber.—Rich mens hez dey troubles ez well ez po’ mens, I rickollect I had two dollars once. en hit took me two weeks ter know what ter do wid it.—Hit’s a mighty great consolation ter think, in de time er trouble, dat de poverty er dis worl’ is de riches er heaven.—Now we sees throo a glass darkly; en some er us is ‘bleege ter buy de glass on de installment plan,—4¢. lanta Constitution. VIN MARIANI | World Famous Mariani Tonic Recommended throughout the world by | the Medical Profession, and during thirty- eight years prortounced the most reliable, effective and agreeable tonic and stimulant. All Druggists. Refuse Substitutes. * But, after all, don’t you think a good edu- cation is an essential in business success? “Not much," replied the wealthy man, "It was my poor education that gave me a start. 1 done a job o' work for a rich fellow and made out my bill for *too dollars.’ Besides the bad spellin’ I forgot to cross the t. Ie sent me a cheque for one hundred dollars."—PAiladel- phia Press. Bound Volumes Every copy of JuDGE for 1900 in two volumes, substantially bound in cloth, with gilt edg. ing, express prepaid anywhere in the United States, for $9.00. Send orders promptly. Judge Publishing Co. 110 FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. RES ANT - IQUE. * Auntie dear, where do these fossil shells come from ?” "Oh, my dear child, a great many years ago they were washed up here by the sea.” ** How long ago, auntie dear?” ** Ever so long ago, dear child.” “What! even before you were born, auntie?” | EARL & WILSON'S - COLLARS CUFFS&SHIRTS BEST IN THE WORLD. Teacher—"* What is the chief food of the people of India class—"* Please, ma'am, it's famini Youngest member of the KEEPS THE HEAD COOL AND BRAIN CLEAR. DRINK IT ON RISING EVERY MORNING. THE * RESOR TER. You wilt fet more prompt attention and better service by mentioning Jupem when answering advertisemente, | We gather from the remarks of Mr. William | A. Brady that the prize-fighting business is get- ting in hard enough lines to demand a govern. | mental subsidy.—Baltimore American. Sam Johnsing I'se all right now. I'se | gwinter get up.” Afrs.- Johnsing —** Fool niggah. “Jess you stay in bed until you has tuck de rest ob de medicine in dat bottle what | I paid a dollah foh."—Arkansaw Thos, Cat, “LAUGHLIN : FOUNTAIN PEN The Best at Any Price. ‘Sent on approval to responsible people. A companion of never ending usefulness.a source of constant pleasure and comfort. Your choice of these popular styles, supe- tlor to the $3.00 Styles of other makes, for only IT A WEEK. If not suited we buy it back, and offer you $1.10 for it. We are willing to take chances on you wanting to sell, we know en values, you will when you. ‘own one of these. Finest quality hard rubber holder, 1k. Diamond Point ‘Ben, any desired flexi Bility in fine, medium or stub, and the only perfect ink feed Known to the sclence of foun tain pen makio Sent postpaid on receipt of One Dollar, (registration Be. extra.) Ask your dealer to show ns it he has not oF Tor you (do notlet stitute aa imitation,on which he can make more f Proit) send his name and your A order to us, and receive tree ‘9f charge one of our Safety Pocket Pen Holders. Remember-There isno""just 3s good” as the Laughlia insist on it, take no chances. State whether Ladies’ or Gentlemen's Style i desired. TRY ry him sul MERRILL & CO., 110 Fifth Avenue, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com