Judge, 1901-03-16 · page 10 of 16
Judge — March 16, 1901 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of early-20th-century American humor: **"Novel Resuscitation"**: A man dreams of rescuing drowning women from a boat. The joke relies on Victorian-era gallantry—his friend reveals women will resurface to check if their hats are on straight, mocking women's vanity and superficiality. **"She Wasn't in Danger"**: Satirizes women's supposed fear of post-office visits on Saturday nights due to men flirting, contrasted with a woman who's attended for fourteen years without incident—poking fun at exaggerated feminine timidity. **"Reflections of a Spinster"**: Cynical observations about marriage and men, suggesting men regard wives as unpaid servants and that dead wives are the most successful. **Other sketches** ("Well Up," "Miss Avoirdupois," "Diplomacy"): Brief jokes about vanity, weight-consciousness, and financial manipulation. **Billy cartoon**: Shows a dog eating early morning food—simple visual humor. The page reflects period attitudes toward gender stereotypes, feminine vanity, and marital cynicism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NOVEL RE- SUSCITATION. He—"1 had an odd dream last night.” She Aindifferently) —" What was it?” He—"Well, 1 dreamed I went out boating with a party of ladies, which I'd never do if I were awake, you know — no other man along. As any- body would expect un- der such circumstances the boat was soon up- set, and there we were, all struggling in the water. I tried to save some of them, but couldn't, and pretty soon found myself SHE WASN'T IN DANGER. walking along the SaRant Aci many of the girls complain thet they Shore, wringing my are jest afraid to go to the post office Sat'day nights owin' to hands and_ bewailing the men tryin’ to flirt. . . the fate of the women. Pua:ne Winters —‘* Oh, fiddlesticks ! I been goin’ there ev'ry Sat'day night fer nigh on fourteen year, an’ | Just then Brown came hain’t bad no trouble.” along, and naturally wanted to know what the matter was. I told him. “And oh,’ I cried, * they're all drowned, they're all drowned !" “*That's nothing.’ said he. * Quit that racket, and I'll tell you how to bring HOW IT LOOKED. ___, Macctr —"' Did little Chimmie get anyt'ing else fer his birthday them to life again.” soe andy cane a ak Ph ‘i 4 ‘ WiAce seen tix —* Guess he did! I hain’t seen him sit down since he’s Quick! How?" exclaimed 1. is chawin’ oc i REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER will never cease to betray until women cease to believe in them. ‘The man never lived able to resist flattery when aimed at his special shortcoming. From a man’s standpoint, the only wives who have really made a success of the part are the dead ones. After the first year or so of married life, many men regard their wives as hirelings who do not earn their support. Nothing in the world is more exciting than the first in- terview with a man who as- says more than ninety per cent. in the mint of mentality. ‘The man who stood be- tween “the devil and the deep sea” had a choice position in comparison with that of the Parson Goopmax honest mutual friend of an up- Ronert—"* Yes, sir. Parson GoopMan —'‘And what is the goal, Robert?" to-date married couple. Rosert—" Two posts with a wire stretched between them, sir.” WADA AGHEW. WELL UP. “* I suppose you know ‘the grave is not the goal," Robert?” “+ Take.a large mirror, and (PReREaee go out there and hold it over the Fees. —yg place where they went down.’ “"Why, what good will that do? said I, surprised. “Oh, they will all come right up to see if their hats are on straight.” MISS AVOIRDUPOIS. SHE'S keeping Lent. To wash away Her sins? It is not that She finds this fasting day by day A splendid anti-fat. DIPLOMACY. Father—* You need expect nothing from me when I die.” Son (spendthrift)— I don’t. That's why I try to get all I can out of you while you are alive.” BILLY GETS UP EARLY AND PARTAKES OF A L/GHT REPAST. comicbooks.com The will i