Judge — March 9, 1901 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REFLECTIONS OF A SPINSTER. MOST men of good shape are bad form. Many men regard veracity as a natural foe. Every cynical wo- man is the living ex- pression of some man’s crime, Ask a man his special virtue if you would know his most glaring vice. A man’s fore- thought where his wife is concerned generally comes after. A handsome man is never as good as he looks — but a homely man is full of agreeable surprises. Wedlock is a far more interesting and important game than politics, and if men gave it half the study they do the latter, there would be more expert players. YADA ACNE, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. EDITH YERRINGTON AS WILLIE," IN i OF course, since yo are cas: for Witie, You're bound to pisy hiss, willy-nilly — And to the part ts perfect, anda Joy. Yet, all the same, fair incarnation, It you'll permit the observation, A fine girl's wasted, when you play the boy. THE DAY OF CELEBRATION. I see the constable’s takin’ Bill Hogan to jail agin.” Il signed the pledge at the temp rance lectur last night an’ atin’ the event ever since." ECCE SIGNUM. H, WOMAN, sinner if or saint, Heed well yon sign, ‘* Beware of Paint; If on thy cheek too thick it lie, Thy hue becomes a hue and cry. JONN Fact. IN KENTUCKY. Easterner —*** Death due to catarrh'— how singular! Is the disease often fatal here ?” Colonel Bluegrass —“ Well, suh, it usually is, suh, when a gentle man is so careless as to carry his handkerchief in his hip pocket — and then happens to reach for it during a friendly political discussion, suh.” A BAPTIST PARADOX. HE congregation of a country church gathered at a smail stream for the ceremony of immer- sion. As the stream was very shal- low the minister obstructed the flow of water to make it deep enough for THE AWFUL SIGNIFICANCE, I dreampt last night dat I died and went ter heaven! Wot do yer s'pose dat means?” * Dat you're going ter live and get married! Dreams allers goes be contraries.” Weary Wine Fravep Facin EING areaway, and there remained. NOT HIS FAULT. very drunk he rolled down some stone steps into an Though considerably cut and bruised, his fine sense of discrimination did not desert him, and while the blood streamed from a s scalp and one arm hung help- lessly at his side, he raised himself “A FRIEND IN N Mrs. Puta D 1S,* ETC. y do you ery, little boy 2° ck. an’ me fader is out uv work, an’ we ain't had nuttin’ ter eat fer t'ree days.” Mrs, PHtLantiorisr—"* Poor dear child, how my heart aches for you. Here's a tract on the evils of drink among the masses that you may take home and read,” upon his uninjured elbow and remarked to the crowd : “La’s an’ gen'lemen, ‘Y's all John’s fault—t he'd a-let me have ‘no- ther drink I couldn't a-got here ‘tall. Some flers got no sense.” INTUITION. Dreemitt (pen- sively) —" I wonder if a woman always knows when a man is in love with her?" Sinnick—""No, but she often knows. he is in love with baptismal purposes. Well, well,” facetiously remarked a passer-by, “the parson dams the water to bless the people.” her when he isn’t.” ‘Ma. Squinnst—"* My, but ain’t 1 glad I don't wear trousers.” comicbooks.com