Judge — March 2, 1901 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LONG WAIT. F YOU'RE going to wait there, By your door, on your chair, Till good-fortune knocks with his stick, It were well to prepare ‘The seat of the chair With a cushion soft and thick. AFTERMATH. Parson Primrose—“\ thought you liked to have com- pany at the house. You seem to have plenty of fun when there are visitors here.” Freddie —" Yes, sit; but 1 always get the stuffing knocked out of me as soon as they are gone.” MATTER OF BUSINESS, Tittle—" Who is that cross- eyed woman with hair-lip, talking so loud?” TOO RICH FOR HIS BLOOD. CannipaL—'* I'm glad you happened along just now, doc. I have indigestion Tattle —" Why, that is the sumpthin’ turrable, I just ate a millionaire, and I guess he was too rich for me.” Duchess of Stormingcourt whom the duke married for her fortune. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. as ete milion. Mot Bibbs — VIRGINIA EARL. ‘ttle —* Wumph ! The Virginia, you're the sweetest of temptations duke earned his money. "Fo otter vies and verses tol Your ways, and even your little affectations ‘Are so delightful, just because they're THE KIND OF BIRD. hat thief was so expert that he stole five hundred dollars from the inside breast pocket of a sleeping Indian. Oh, he was a bird.” A regular robin redbreast.” ie || | THE SOLDIER'S SOLILOQUY / “3 Photo, by Schless. Gibbs —" | should say you. I chase a butterfly, your kindred spirit, ‘To catch that charm, but never can come UPON THE ABOLITION OF THE CANTEEN, *sTO BEER, or not to beer, that is the juestion ; Whether ‘tis nobler for a man to suffer The pangs and tortures of outrageous thirst, Or to take arms (those furnished by the government are best) And by disposing of them raise the price With which to buy raw whisky and bad rum. For since wise Congress in a virtuous mood Has seen fit to abolish our canteens, A hundred drinking-dens, vile parasites, Cluster and fester on the camps’ outskirts, @ And drain the very blood and brain and brawn. Of Uncle Sam's defenders. Yet—if my arms I sell, A general court doth stare me in the fact Avone fell sweep I fall from virtue, grace. \ No beer—no money, and also no cre Io the vernacular—* I'm up against So I will hie me to my bunk to sleep ; : ee To sleep—and in that sleep puch iee to . HOW IT HAPPENED. dream ; LEEK} Liquor was the making of that chap.” BaxtTer—"* Speculate in rye?” Bieexer—"* No, but old man Gotrox promised to let him have his daughter while under the influence of liquor.” Aye, that’s the only thing remaining now, For in that dream what visions then may come OF legislators who are not afraid to vote According to conviction ; = . : ° OF women, gracious, gentle, fairandsweet, = Who in the confines of their proper sphere NOT SO BAD. RITY," re- Find work and goodness as befits their sex ; marked Mr, Fosdick, Nor gad about the legislative halls With tousled locks and garb unfeminine, And howl and weep and grow hysterical, And drink of watery Russian tea, and cry, “will never forgive Nero for fiddling while Rome burned.” “Posterity hasn't so much to complain about,” **'No beer, no beer for strenuous men who fight !"” Shade of Medusa ! ‘tis a wondrous sight. Rare ous suggested Keedick, “There is no intimation that Nero played ragtime.” comicbooks.com