Judge, 1901-03-02 · page 3 of 12
Judge — March 2, 1901 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches and brief humorous pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"A Long-Felt Want"** (top): A poet and editor discuss submitting work to a publication. The editor's dismissive suggestion to "chuck it in the stove" is a joke about editorial rejection and the poor prospects for poets. **"False Report"** and **"Misleading Symptoms"**: These sketch anecdotes about rural communication mishaps and a woman's unexplained silence, using misunderstanding for humor. **"Wisdom in Briefs"**: A column offering cynical observations about social behavior—noting that "transgressors" find excuses and that women inherently cannot "tell the truth." **"Popular Expression"**: Shows a grocer's display with competing brands, likely satirizing commercial rivalry. The page exemplifies Judge's style: genteel, class-conscious humor targeting everyday social pretensions and human foibles rather than specific political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A LONG-FELT WANT. Port—'" I have a poem here, sir, that is full of fire.” , ; % Epitor (Caseyville Cat)—"* Good enough ! Just chuck it in the stove and see if we can’t get a little heat in the room.’ A LENTEN QUERY. F ASHES on the head conduce To grace, as some believe, Why is it that Jones rips and swears When some drop down his sleeve ? WISDOM IN BRIEFS = way of the transgressor is hard — to other people. “ Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,” but, unfortunately, the day is seldom sufficient unto the evil, as it usually laps far over into the night. It sometimes happens that persons who are punctilious in matters of etiquette are rude to brutality in other ways. Women cannot tell the truth, Their utmost nobility in this direction is to refrain from telling lies. MADELINE 8. BRIDGES, FALSE REPORT. Farser HAvRake—" I s'pose ye've heard ‘bout my sendin’ my son Reuben to an institu- tion uy learnin’ 2" Faraer SNaKeRooT—"* Why, no. Some fool ’s bin spreadin’ the report round the neigh- borhood that yew've sent him ter college. MISLEADING SYMPTOMS. EpItH had not said a word for ten minutes. She sat on the lowest of the pia and from time to time moved uneasily, pressing her chubby hands hard against her small body—in the region of her heart. The boarders sat upon the piazza and gossiped merrily among themselves, unhindered by interruption from that piping, decisive little voice that was wont to break in unceremoniously upon their most important conferences. But this state of things was too unusual not to provoke comment, and Miss Black was the first to remark upon the ominous silence prevailing in a cer- tain quarter. “Edith, called she. “ Where is the child ?—Edith.” “Wat is it, Miss Black ?” came the little girl's dis- tinct, staccato ut- terances from the lower step. “What is the matter, Edith ?” “Tm sure I can't imagine, Miss Black. I feel as if BARBER-SHOP NOTES. POPULAR EXPRESSION. I'd eaten green ap- COLD SLAUGH-TER, A few choice remarks, ples, but I haven't.” Bridget shaves the cabbage. comicbooks.com