Judge, 1901-01-26 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 26, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical format. **Main Story**: "The Logical Upshot" satirizes the complexity of modern blended families. A photographer attempts to capture a group portrait of a woman, her two ex-husbands, their current spouses, and their various children from different marriages—a deliberately tangled domestic arrangement meant to illustrate the messy realities of contemporary divorce and remarriage. The joke's punchline: the chaotic family members fight so badly during the photo session that they destroy the camera, making the picture impossible. The satire critiques both the absurdity of such complicated modern family structures and the futility of attempting to impose order on them. **Other sketches** on the page include brief, unrelated jokes about mesmerism, a bachelor's singing voice, and a man frustrated by snow—typical of Judge's miscellaneous humor format. The overall tone suggests early-to-mid 20th century concerns about changing marriage and family structures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE LOGICAL UPSHOT. YMAN DABBS, the photographer, came within one of takin’ just about the uniquest picture on record one day last week,” said the loquacious landlord of the tavern at Pettyville. “You see, there is a woman here who has been divorced from her first husband an’ is livin’ with her second helpmeet an’ their baby, an’ one of his children by his first wile, an’ two of hers by her A MILK-SHAKE. 1 THE KITTEN—'* Why, there's milk !— first husband; an’ the first man she'd promised to love, honor, an’ so forth, came to town with his latest wife an’ their baby, an’ a child of his’n by his first wife, an’ a few of hers by her first husband. “The first - mentioned lady worked up the scheme for ‘em all to get photograph- ed in unison, so to express it. So they proceeded to the gallery, accompanied by the children’s pet dogs an’ one of ‘em’s uncle—that is, the IN A TRANCE, Mrs. Henrequr—' They say when a tiger has its prey in its power the victim feels neither fear nor pain—only a dreamy ecstasy. Mr. HENrEque—''I don't doubt it. The night you ac- cepted me I felt the same way.” CuSs-Dinna— 9B Mr. Buc—"* Well, this is discouraging. No sooner than I get my walk clear, a snow- flake falis on it and I've got to do it all over again.” HIS SINGING. HER praises oft 1 sang; but soon I learned (Such woes a man befall), So far as Stella wedding me was concerned, Thad no voice at all. REASON ENOUGH. 6S P)INSMORE is dissat- istied with his lot in life,” said Twynn to Trip- lett. “Why?” “Because there is no house on it.” folks’ uncle, not the pet dogs'—who is as eccentric in his, actions as a bat in a hot oven, an’ thinks that he can hear the far-off tread of a terrible social revolution a-comin’ in the near future, an’ an equally batty relative of another'n who holds that all we've got to look out for is the en- croachments of the pope, an’ a bashful bachelor who is also a kin-person, an’ a thirty-five-year-old an’ matrimoni- ally-inclined maiden aunt of some of ‘em's who had her map all made up for him. “Eh-yah! Dabbs would have taken the peculiarest picture you ‘most ever saw if it hadn't been for the fact that durin’ the squabble they got into, an’ which was started by the pet dogs, pushed forward by the children an’ taken up by the older folks, they smashed the camera an’ shoved out one end of the gallery; an’ of course the photographer couldn’t do a blamed thing under those circumstances.” TAKEN AT HER WORD. THE news was hailed with much of doubt When friends of our en- gagement heard, And yet, in truth, it came about Because I took her at her word. I thus explained in such a way As puzzled them I must confess— I might have been induced to say ‘The word I took her at was, cave Ss) ROY FARRELL GREENE. \ Tue KiTTEN—‘*I wasn’t gamblin’ on a milk-shake.” comicbooks.com