Judge, 1901-01-05 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 5, 1901 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous pieces unrelated to politics. "A Cider-ial Time Calculation" jokes about aging—suggesting that as months pass, one grows "more frisky" and develops health issues, culminating in drinking cider as a remedy. "From a Western Car Window" presents a brief anecdote about a child observing an "English Indian" (likely a Native American performer or representation). "How Little Toddie Spoiled the Story" shows silhouetted figures disrupting a narrative, emphasizing comedic interruption. "Cupid's Nightmare" depicts a church choir singing off-key, with repeated lines emphasizing their inability to "spin" (or sing properly). The remaining sketches appear to be domestic humor without clear political content. The page is primarily light social satire rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
One-nine-naught-one ! the old year's done, A century new is just begun, Here's happy days, with boundaries wider, Aq’ health to you in new sweet cider. FROM A WESTERN CAR WINDOW. ‘OH. MAMMA,” said Tommy, as he gazed from the window of a western train, “ just look at the English Indian out there with all the checks painted on his face !" FAR BETTER. LOVED and lost! And oh, ‘twas hard to bear ! Long time I thought of every mortal grief, Or harrowing pang, or heart-consuming care, This poignant suffering was the very chief, Till a boyhood memory came my mind across, The cutting edge of which time never blunts. Ah, yes! "Tis better to have loved and lost Than on both sides to have the mumps at once! Ro, MOTT. HOW LITTLE TODDIE SPOILED THE STORY THe CHAMPION (Jelling story) —“* And it was a beautiful moonlight night, the ice was smooth as glass, and just as I turned the bend of the river, something darted past me and "—— "spin fe A CIDER-IAL TIME CALCULATION. With sassafras an’ pepper-sass In every bar'l, it comes to pass That month by month she grows more frisky, Till cider’s most as good as whisky. If anything is left next spring, Your “still an’ worm" you want to bring, An’ get the real ambrosial smack In cider’s limit—apple jack ! CUPID'S NIGHTMARE, A MIXTURE, 'HE trio in the church choir stood, up to sing about the lilies of thé field, famed for their re- fraining from toiling and spinning. The tenor began it, singing boldly and loudly : “ They toil not, nee-ther do they spin.” Then it was the soprano’s turn, and her voice soared among the groined arches of the sacred edifice as she war- bled: “ They toil not, ny-ther do they ‘Then the tenor and soprano awaited while the bass brought his ~ voice from the basement and thun- dered : “They toil not, nay-ther do they spin.” Then altogether, in one mighty effort, the tenor and the soprano and the bass proclaimed the thrilling in- formation — - roy ( nee-ther They toil {ayer ; * — (nay-ther It was exceedingly effective. wiutian Heney siveren, A BLUFF IN TOPSYTURVY LAND. Wutre. tiir—"' I bet you three dudes.” Rep cittp—" I'll see your three dudes and raise you a coon and two Jews!" comicbooks.com