Judge, 1900-12-22 · page 21 of 48
Judge — December 22, 1900 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from Judge (circa 1900): **"Give"** and **"Degrees"** are humorous mock-philosophical verses mocking sentimental Christmas platitudes and the disappointment of substandard holiday foods (fruitcake, mince pie without filling, Christmas pudding). **"Her Christmas Present"** is a romantic short story illustrating a sentimental trope: a poor orphan girl wishes aloud that Christmas gifts depend on her ship coming home. A gentleman notices they're standing under mistletoe and kisses her—her "ship has come home." The satire targets melodramatic sentimentality about poverty and romance. **"Studies of a Head"** uses multiple sketches to humorously catalog the elaborate hairstyles and headwear fashionable women must constantly adopt. The accompanying verse pokes fun at the vanity and impracticality of female fashion—particularly the complexity of hairstyles and elaborate bonnets and feathers that dominate women's appearance. The page reflects turn-of-century satirical humor targeting romantic excess, fashion obsession, and holiday commercialism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GIVE. GE thy memory a vacation at Christ- mas time. Give lie for lie, and be exceeding merry. Give heed to thy better impulses. Give not in the spirit which frowneth upon childishness. Give thyself credit for being that which perchance thou art not. Give over thy thoughts of self and pelf, and become only a figure in the com- ‘mon gladsomeness. DEGREES. THE plamless pudding isa sorry blufl, ‘The kissless kiss must leave one still athirst ; But while the minceless pie is bad enough, ‘The Santa Clausless Christmas is the worst. HER CHRISTMAS PRESENT. oe N° T unless my ship comes home.” He gazed rather tenderly at the fair young girl seated at his side when she uttered these words. He had asked her if she expected to get any Christmas presents, and this was how she answered him. There was something unspeakably sad in the thought that one so young and fair had been left alone in the world without kith or kin, At other times it might have been almost forgotten, but now, when joy and happiness were ram- pant on all sides of her, how she must realize her lonely position as good old Santa Claus passed her by ! “ Not unless my ship comes home.” Her words seemed to echo and re-echo through his brain. Had he thought of it he might have brought her some little present to remind her of the holidays, But it was too late now, As his eyes wandered about he noticed for the first time that they were seated under the mistletoe. The little start he gave seemed to arouse her from her reveries, Intuitively her eyes followed the direction of his. As they both centred on the one object a little flush mantled her cheeks, making her more irresistible than ever. The next moment she felt herself drawn toward him, arid then—and then—her ship had come home, It was a little smack. JAMES JAY O'CONNELL: WiLuz Buc—"‘ Isn't that too bad? Somebody must have been here before us; they haven't left a nut on the tree.” COPYRIGHT 1900 BY JUDGE COMPANY OF NEW YORK. STUDIES OF A HEAD. AS MANY ways As there are days In the year, She has to fix ber fair Flaxen hair, ‘Her headgear Is, I fear, Much too numerogs To mention 3." Yet even humorous Attention And fantastic grace Must end in admira- tion To its variety, Propriety, ‘Oh, the whims to be read On that stunning little head! In hat and bow and bonnet, Feather and farbelow ! ae ; Hy PALS pot entside, yo" won't hide {[P° # it, ‘ But will keep it well in view. what there is inside it, we only, ever knew— & But we don't. P. STA nlaws, Sachatt 8 Wibeims Litho 8 Ps (0 New York comicbooks.com