Judge — December 15, 1900 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STILL WORSE. +¢AH, HOW wonder- ful, how solemn, it is to be a wo- man!"exclaimed Niece Henrietta Louise, a some- what, angular maiden, who, having failed to accumulate a man, went in strongly for in- tellectuality and soulfulness. “How awe- spiring, how soul-stirring, how mind-o'er- whelming, to know one’s self the heritor of ages of mystic worship, of aeons of physical pain; to inhale the incense of centuries of adoration; to bear upon patient shoulders the burden of a yet potent curse!” “Ye-es, I s’pose so,” rather doubtfully replied old Aunt Flatfoot, who Mrs. MuRPHY (seeing the icicles on Tim's hat, exclaimed)- powers, Tim! but it's becomin’, Yez look jist loike a bank-cashier.” RAISING A MUSTACHE, was almost as broad as she was long, and was solidly founded on the essential things of this life. “But to my mind the most aggravatin’ thing ‘in all creation is to try to make jelly when the dratted stuff won't jell.” A FAVORED LOCALITY. I AM ill; but that old doctor, When consulted, made me smile. He advised a change of climate ; But I shall not budge a mile, For I'm citizen of Boston Where I have it all the while. A RURAL BUSINESS BAROMETER. Reuben—“ No use of talk- in’, times hain't so good as they were a year ago.” Abner—* That's right. The storekeeper down ter the Corners says there's over twice as many ‘A SAVING NOT MENTIONED. whittlings left on his floor each Jones (just before the crask)—"* The agent said I wouldn't need to buy any more horse-feed, and it looks as if Iwouldn't hight as there was durin’ the cor- ever need anything more to eat myself.” respondin’ time of last year." NOT EASILY FORGOTTEN. ¢ Miss Hevvywatr-—"* So you are off to Africa for a year's hunting? I suppose you will forget all about poor me ” ‘a Cartain Biccame (galantly)—"* What an idea! It would be a fierce sort of rhinoceros, I assure you, that could make nie forget you.” | | | | | | comicbooks.com |