Judge, 1900-12-15 · page 8 of 22
Judge — December 15, 1900 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several comic vignettes satirizing American social types and behaviors circa early 1900s: **"Mr. Drydoppel's Soliloquy"**: A man recants his love of beer—typical temperance-era humor mocking changing attitudes toward alcohol. **"He Wanted to Appear at Home"**: Two Western characters discuss a Vermont visitor who fired guns in town and forced people to drink with him. The joke: Eastern dudes, influenced by cheap "five-cent stories" about Wild West lawlessness, mistakenly believe such behavior is authentically Western. **"Doing Quite Well"**: A pedestrian offers charity to a panhandler, suggesting honest work instead. The panhandler replies panhandling *is* his trade—satirizing both misguided charity and professional vagrants. **"How Mr. Heavyskate Reached a Decision"**: A drunk man, seeing snow, decides to wait at his club until the storm passes. Officer Maloney later finds him frozen to death—dark humor about the consequences of alcoholic poor judgment and indolence. The page generally mocks drunkenness, false Western romanticism, and social parasitism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MR. DRYDOPPEL’S SOLILOQUY. [ USED to think a deal of beer And often drink of it; But now the more I think of it The less I think of it. HE WANTED TO APPEAR AT HOME, First westerner—* Quite a little excitement in town last night. A stranger that said he hailed from Vermont came in on the evening stage. As soon as he struck the main street he pulled out a gun and began blazing away at the street-lamps, and he wound up by threatening to shoot anybody that wouldn't go in and have a drink with him. He didn’t appear crazy, either, when the marshal arrested him.” Second westerner-—" Aw, he must have been another of them there eastern fellers that git their ideas of the west from the five-cent stories.” DOING QUITE WELL. Kind pedestrian— Here's half a dollar, my poor man. Instead of living this way, why don’t you learn a trade?” Panhandler—"\ would, sir, if 1 knew of a better one than this.” THE ESSENCE, a z * There are other things in this world besides money, you Buc MAIL-carrier—'‘ Here's a nice job! It's a wonder people ” wouldn't pat numbers on their houses.” HOW MR. HEVVYSKATE REACHED A DECISION. Mr. HevvysKate (who developed quite a f is And this is how Officer Maloney discovered him “s0sh" at the club)—'* Looksh as if it was goin’ to i j(ane 2) Must hey med a mishtake—it'sh 4 few hours later and convinced hin i was a heavy shnow. Guessh I'll wait till shtorm is over.— es frost. comicbooks.com