Judge, 1900-12-15 · page 12 of 22
Judge — December 15, 1900 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This early Judge page contains several humor pieces satirizing American life: **"Enlightenment for the Child"** mocks working-class dialect and ignorance. Mr. Johnson mishears "scorpion" (the baseball scoring keeper) as "de fellah dat keeps de score," while Mr. Jackson confidently misidentifies it as "de empiah's a scorpion"—likely a garbled reference to the Empire State or similar. The humor targets lower-class speech patterns and lack of education. **"The Country Maid"** uses a crude visual pun: a woman reads a playing card's instruction literally. **"A Sensible Idea"** satirizes melodramatic romantic suicide threats through absurdist reversal. **"Wanted Hers Different"** depicts sibling rivalry, with Beth envying her sister's angelic qualities. **"All Eyes on Him"** and **"Spoiled His Sleep"** offer brief comedic observations about theft and domestic life. The page reflects Judge's typical early-20th-century approach: gentle domestic humor, ethnic/class-based dialect comedy, and wordplay rather than sharp political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
\ \ THE TEST OF FRIENDSHIP. OF ALL true friendship, silence ig the test ; The critic will not follow love's behest. Then choose the critic never for thy friend, Or soon or late such comradeship shall end. ANN NY ty ENLIGHTENMENT FOR THE CHILD. MB: JOHNSON was conversing with Mr. Jack- son, who had dropped in for an after-supper chat, upon the subject of craps as a means for winning a livelihood in times of depression of the whitewashing business, when young Abraham Lin- coln Johnson looked up from the book he was read- ing, and inquired, “ Pap, what's a scorpion ?” “A scorpion?” said Mr. Johnson. “ Why— why—a scorpion 's de fellah dat keeps de score.” THE COUNTRY MAID. I begs leave to differ wid you, Mr. John- She gazed at the pyeens ote son,” said Mr. Jackson, who had lost his Andeheseadtheeardonitacd mormirea, ast quarter on the home team the day “** Hands off '—why, of course they are!” before; “ de empiah’s a scorpion.” Ss 9) Ny \ 12 Pannnye STawtaws. A SENSIBLE IDEA. Percy—‘* If she refuses me I shall simply kill myself.” -Gbs-DinKs ALcie —"* That's right! Don’t do anything foolish.” e WANTED HERS DIFFERENT. LL day Beth had been out of sorts with her older sister Edith, and ALL EYES ON HIM. at night, through the open door, she was heard at her devotions, Rar nuncLan—"' Ooh! every time I come to this potato-cellar to steal some." Please, God, mayn't Ibe an angel without any feathers if I've got to thing, I feel just as if someone was watching me.” have the same kind ‘s Edith has? ) @2582592527525252525252 82525252 2525252 S25252525n, | SPOILED HIS SLEEP. Mrs. Ecciesto? Look heah. Henery! doan yo" want a cup ob coffee fer breakfas"?” Mr. Ecctestox —'* No—I doan want no coffee in de mawnin’—keeps me awake all day.’ comicbooks.com