Judge, 1900-12-08 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 8, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"His Falling Away"**: Rural farmers gossip about Deacon Pinchbrick's moral decline. The joke: they've witnessed him tangled in a rope with a bull-calf, and interpret his profane outburst ("dod-gasted, lunk-headed son-of-Anak!") as evidence he's abandoning piety for worldly behavior. The satire mocks small-town hypocrisy and how rural folk judge morality by isolated incidents. **"In Topsyturvy Land"**: Absurdist humor about butchers making sausage and hens trying to enter a "smart set"—pure nonsense without apparent topical reference. **"The Real Thing"** and **"A Modern Parallel"**: Brief comparative jokes about music (Orpheus/Apollo vs. a woman playing piano badly enough to drive neighbors away). **"Asking Quite Unnecessary"**: Dialect humor with an Irish immigrant character joking that ten whiskeys will make him sweat without needing his wife's help. The page reflects Judge's mix of rural satire, absurdist comedy, and ethnic humor typical of early 20th-century American magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HIS FALLING AWAY. +4 ]'M AFRAID,” said hon- est Farmer Dunk, “that Deacon Pinchbrick is kinder fallin’ away from grace an’ gittin’ a bit too worldly an’ rampant for a brother of his long years of fellership. 1 hate to say it, but it looks like an established an’ scandalous fact.” “What makes ye think so, Lyman?” asked Farmer Hawbuck in surprise. “ Wa-al,” was the some- what guarded reply, “as I was passin’ his place yester- day I seen him involved in IN TOPSYTURVY LAND. an entanglin’ alliance with a Doc—"I tell you, these butchers certainly do make fine TObust bull-calf, and gathered sausage.” from appearances that the trouble had originally begun when the calf was at one end of a long rope an’ the deacon was at the other, an’ after a number of rapid an’ thrillin’ evolutions, which exhausted the superfluity, so to express the FLirs—'* Gee ! we haven’t had a moment's rest since those spiders have discovered how to use a sling-shot.” situation, of the rope, both had come together. When' I first noticed ‘em the calf an':the deacort-were facin’ each other, wrap- ped an’ twisted up.in about a hundred feet of hemp; glarin’ into each other's countenances like-a couple of basilisks, an’ the dea- con, a moment or two after my arrival on’ the scene, denounced the bovine as * you dod-gasted, lunk-headed son-of-Anak!" An’ it kinder struck me that for a piller of the church an’ a meek an’ humble pedestrian in the strait an’ narrow way the deacon was a trifle too rampant an’ excitable.” Tow F. MoxGAN. A MODERN PARALLEL, HEN y THE REAL THING. W Orpheus twanged Apollo's lyre . F Trees and rocks moved that beard him play; trom tts? “« Master has evidently put cayenne pepper in these nests to keep us When Mabli her pianc’s wire from setting. SECOND HEN—" How foolish of him! Why, I've been trying to get into the ‘smart Twanged night and day, without a tire, set’ for years.” She made her neighbors move away. yi iN (nua Ne fU™ 72ST & ASKING QUITE UNNECESSARY. Oi hov a cowld.” S rink ten hot whishkies, go home, an’ ashk yer woife to give ye a shweat.” i ‘Armah! Ef Oi go home wid ten hot whishkies in me Oi won't need to ashé her to give me a shweat—Oi'll git it annyway.”” | | i | y comicbooks.com | | |