Judge, 1900-12-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — December 8, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous sketches satirizing various social situations: **"An Object-Lesson"**: A professor lectures his class on a "prehistoric" human footprint in rock, claiming it's 10,000 years old. A local man laughs, revealing the "ancient artifact" is actually just a footprint his son Jim made in wet cement pavement the previous summer. The satire mocks pseudo-intellectual pomposity and academia's overconfidence in interpreting evidence. **"Thought He 'Orter' Know"**: A rural character misunderstands "motor" as "orter" (ought-er), creating wordplay humor about rural dialect and the confusion caused by new automobile technology. **"A Catastrophe"**: Percy buys a cheap ring ($3.98) but fraudulently attaches a $40 price tag from an expensive store. When his girlfriend discovers his deception and demands he exchange items at the store, his scheme backfires—he's exposed as dishonest. The satire condemns male deception and materialism in courtship. All three sketches target pretension, ignorance, and dishonesty across social classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN OBJECT-LESSON. OOK at this, young ladies and gentlemen,” said the pro- fessor, who had his class out for work in the open air. “This is a truly remarkable discovery. Here is a human foot distinctly printed in the enduring rock. Look at it. No doubt it has been there since the neoplastic era. Ata very conservative estimate, I should say that this imprint was made ten thousand years ago.” The class crowded around the block by the road- side which bore the interesting impression, and all were somewhat awed by the footstep left by the prehistoric man, Not so a resident of the neighborhood, who burst into loud guffaws. “ My good man,” said the professor, “what are you laughing at?” THOUGHT HE “ORTER" KNOW. E HinamM—"* Hold on there, gol darn ye! Ye called this thing an ‘ orter. It’s goin’ so dinged fast I think I'd ‘ orter be out.’ ” Mr. Bortix—"' Doctor, I have a very particular prescription here to be filled, Do you think you can fill it?” Doctor—"' Certainly ; I am a graduate.” “I'm laughing about that footprint.” “ What about it, sir?” that’s a chunk of artificial pavement made of cement, and where my oldest boy Jim stepped into it last summer be- fore it was dry—that's all.” WILLIAM HENRY SIVITER, A SIMPLE PROBLEM IN DIVISION. Joknny—* Pa, what is the * servant-girl problem '?” Mr, Grinkam—* Finding how much money is due her at the end Of the second day.” . FOF PN IBS| A CATASTROPHE, Eprri— Ob, Perey! your present was so beautiful ! left the price-tag on—forty dollars.” Percy—" Oh, how careless of me!" Eprru—And I see you bought it at Dacey’s. there, would you?” Pexcy—"* Oh, not at all! With pleasure!” ; ou be And I know you wouldn't mind taking it back and exchanging it for one of those lovely forty-dollar brooches they have And you unintentionally Percy (an hour later, in his room)—"* This is what comes of buying a three-dollar-and-ninety-eight,cent ring and sticking a forty-dollar tag ‘on it! Oh, Lord! won't somebody please kick me!” comicbooks.com