Judge, 1900-11-17 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 17, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the explosive growth of college football in 1900 through mock "reports" from major universities (Harvard, Princeton, Michigan, Chippennso). The humor works on multiple levels: **Main satire:** Universities are portrayed as absurdly desperate to field winning teams. The jokes escalate from plausible (recruiting coaches) to ridiculous (Michigan hiring a billy-goat to "try out" weak players, with their remains sent home; Chippennso requiring parents to guarantee universities aren't liable if students die violently). **Context:** This reflects the era's genuine concern that college football was becoming dangerously brutal—a legitimate cultural anxiety about injuries and deaths in the sport. **Side content:** Minor humor pieces mock suburban commuting, racial dialect jokes, and domestic disputes—typical period magazine filler. The cartoons and jokes collectively critique how institutions prioritized football victory over student safety and decorum.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE, FOOT-BALL SITUATION, compiled from ipecial dispatches) ALEVARD reports that foot-ball prospects for 1900 are most encouraging, The ma- jority of last year’s eleven will be available, _agd the expiration of the prize-fight privi- leges in New York will drive many fore- most pugilists to the stage or the gridiron. Yalevard hopes to secure her share. Princeton candidates are already in training. The men of the 1899 eleven ( ATA who were undergraduates spent all summer P sis rey Bey tackling New Jersey mosquitoes, and now, [ff His dats at the beginning of the season, arg in prime condition... Princeton will have the winning. team, and don t forget it. j Word comes from Pumpkin. hollow that a suspicious character in a clean biled shirt has been seen there, and it is‘sus- pected that he is a coach from some éas ern college looking for foot-ball iateri He hung around Chris Schmidt's butcher- nr] shop a great deal. sbesPinns Faith theological seminary, Kansas, which last year held the croquet champ:on- HOW PROFESSOR BUGS GOT IIIS GRAND COLLECTION OF INSECTS. ship, may put a foot-ball eleven in the field. Games with some of the big universities are wanted. James Bluefish, the Ohio man who rode his auto! over an eight-story building and through a block of cable-cars, and is still in the hospital, has received numerous flattering offers from the foot- ball managers of various colleges beseeching him to accept a job as half-back. Chipennso university has passed a rule that all new students must weigh at least one hundred and seventy-five pounds and present a written guarantee from their parents or guardians that, in case of vio- lent death, the university should not be held respon- sible. As a consequence it is expected there: will be a wealth of foot-ball material from which to choose. Michigan university has added to its list of coaches a fine billy-goat, and ‘the new candidates are turned over to it, By this means the weak are speedily tried out and their remains sent home free of charge by the college. <THE SUBURBANITE. TO STRIVE to rise is cause for gratulation, And yet ‘tis rough for you In weather bad to live above your station— A muddy mile or two, DIDN'T FIT IER. Whad's yo’r name, sweet chile?” NOT IN:IT. fah name ‘s Henrietta Hamm.” luh! Henrietta Hamm?’ Huh! Why, chile, dat’s a awful fat name fo' a skinny lil' ting like /agg“es—" Does he believe in Thanksgiving >” Why, yo" don’t look like yo’ eber seen a ham, honey.” Waggles—" How can he? He's a vegetarian.” ‘\E ADVANTAGE ** John Jones! what do you mean by coming nome at this hour of the night? A nice .ime for a respectable married man to be out, and me sitting here all Joux—"* Ob, shut up!” alone with six children and you trapseing around to gin-mills and clubs and "— comicbooks.com