Judge — November 10, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

2x6 oe : a A-AL," said the proprietor of the |*” 8 ‘ : <a the corner grocery somewhat soufly, |, : 3 : i ; ae safe to call Hooks a wag. a . “So 1 thought.” proceeded the visitor.“ He was tellin’ me a yarn about a citizen by the name of Swagglety who swallowed hair- invigorator by mistake for whisky ; — , ae and perished in great agony when. PYAL ie ‘And tl the beverage began to grow a crop tree of red hair in his stomach. Of course there was no A - = vouiaill truth in the story 2” Rie oe: . S § ch “Thar never was anybody yere by the name of Q gglety, an’ consequently he never drank any hair- invigorator, an’ tharfore it couldn't very well grow hair in his stomach. No; Hooks is a wag, to put it A 2 -to:sae'tt mildly. A stranger came along one evenin’ an’ asked : : of for accommodations for the night. He had the hic- ; y Dropy cups pretty bad, an’ said it had been botherin’ him for the past two days. Hooks remembered that a sudden shock is supposed to be sure pop in curin’ hic-cups, an’ so he thought he'd have some fun with the traveler an’ do him a favor at the same time. “Accordin’, he informed the stranger that he DURING THE RAINY SEASON. couldn't accommodate him unless he was willin’ to THE ARMADILLO (lo the ant-bear)—" It’s lucky you brought your umbrella and I my mackintosh, sleep with another man, Judge Purdy had gone to oF we'd have been drenched by now.” : that the stranger's hic-cups were permanently cured, an’ brought in a verdict of death by a rail- br. ita road accident.” Heeedy Io “Great Scott! Why, there sure, Pr isn't a railroad within twenty miles of this place.” **Clar Clarence. but you see they hap- Chicas pened to have only blank verdicts —— for that an’ small - pox, an’ they flipped a nickel an’ the railroad accident won, Kinder funny piece of business, wa'n't it?” “It was pethaps somewhat humorous, in a grim way, but I'd call that trick of putting the stranger to bed with a corpse a most scoundrelly—er-h'm !—but Baan é : ; oe perhaps the landlord is a friend OG ye BS 3 ; Ae 5 of yours ?” pa Pr s WETS “Naw, he hain't no friend ZB i = : : ¢; he’s my father-in-law.” TREATED LIKE HER LONG-LOST SON. Lazy Lox —"' So she treated you like her long-lost son?" Huscry Eppix—"' She just did. I got it foist wid a rollin’-pin, follered by an uppercut wid a flat-iron and a swing on de jaw wid a chair, Ver see her long-lost son hed lost hisself wid de cook an’ t’ree hundred plunks.” bed with a small jag on an’ the stranger could slip into bed with him, an’ if he turned ott early in the mornin’ the judge would never know it. ‘The stranger agreed an’ went to bed, takin’ good care not to wake the judge, an’ was soon asleep. “A spell later he was aroused by a young couple, who entered the room, as he supposed by mistake, set themcelves an’ a lighted candle down, an’ proceeded to spoon in the most approved fashion. ‘The feller chucked the girl under the chin an’ asked oos ittle ducky she was, an’ she cooed that she was his'n, This amused the stranger an’ he poked the judge for him to wake up an’ share the fun, ‘The judge didn’t move. The couple continued to spoon, an’ the stranger prodded the judge again, but without result. After jabbin’ him a few times more without causin’ him to move a muscle he reached over an’ touched him on the cheek an’ found him cold- er than a frog an*dead a great plenty. “‘Tharupon he riz right up with a yell, which was echoed by the young couple who had come to set up with the corpse an’ who now thought the judge wa'n’t dead. The stranger bulged through the window, fell to NATURALLY. the ground an’ broke his neck. The coroner's jury set Brows —"\T am for, Bryan JOKES UNDER WATER. on him—figgeratively, of course—heard Hooks’s story AE in Neale If you are for Bryan. Fist" 1 may be a sucker, but I'll not bite on that hook.” an’ that of the young couple, expressed the opinion comicbooks.com ®