Judge, 1900-10-20 · page 16 of 26
Judge — October 20, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces: **"Potato Philosophy"** presents racist dialect verse using a Black character's voice to deliver homespun wisdom about hard work and persistence—a common trope in period humor. The "potato" metaphor advocates steady effort over shortcuts. **"The Stove Smoked"** is a mild domestic joke about a stove that both smokes and requires smoking a pipe to fix it. **"Topsy-Turvy"** is a brief farm anecdote with no clear political angle. **"Autumn Schemes"** mocks politicians' vote-getting tactics and the contrast with poor people trying to afford clothing—standard class-based satire. **"Perfect System"** makes a dark joke about Southern lynching, presenting it as an organized, orderly process with a written list of "eligible" victims. This satirizes systemic racial violence as bureaucratic efficiency—grotesque social commentary typical of the era. **"Evidently Wandering"** is domestic humor where a doctor notes the husband smiled when told his mother-in-law was visiting—implying he's become deranged. The page reflects early-20th-century American satirical magazine conventions: racist caricature, class mockery, and casual treatment of violence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OTATO PHILOSOPHY. Dey’s a mighty sight ob people Findin’ fault mos’ ebery day “Cause de lucky winnin’ numbah Ain’ a-skatin’ down deir way ; An’ dey walks roun’ on deir uppahs Twell de nap is off deir clo'es— But de way toe dig pertaters Is toe foller out de rows. ‘Tooby shuah, ‘twould save us trubble, An’ it looks laik common sense, Jes’ toe hab de wuk brung toe us W'ile we lean agin de fence; Bat de crop is mighty scattered— Dat’s de way de tuber grows— An’ de way toe find pertaters Is toe foller out de rows. +} Lordy ! ain’ yo" seen dem fellers Dat is boun’ toe marry rich, Dressin’ toe de top ob fashion ‘An’ in debt fo" ebery stitch, Twell some hayseed cotch dat heiress Undernead his berry nose, An’ he collars dem pertaters Jes’ by follerin’ de rows? I jes’ watch de polertician ‘Twenty yeahs a-layin’ pipe, An’ yo" bet his tank is ready W'en de votin’ time is ripe; Wile de blowhard he gits nuffin’ But a blossom on his nose, Fer pertaters dey needs diggin’, An’ dey strings ‘em out in rows. THE STOVE SMOKED. “Something must be done with our stove, It smokes dreadfully, and it smokes a pipe at that.” Also likewise gittin’ dollars “Ret yo'r life ain’ foolish play, oun’ an’ roll so easy Dey is apt toe git away. Wen yo" find de plunk is captured way down in yo" clo'es— Fo de dollahs, like pertaters, Seems toe string along in rows, Doan’ yo! lissen toe de hobo, Or fo’ shuah yo" git sold. Ef de worl’ owes yo" a livin’ Dey will hand it toe yo" cold ; Ef yo" want a Chris'mus ta’key Hustle roun" befo’ it snows— ‘An’ remembah fo’ pertaters Yo" mus’ agitate de rows. It's de debbil builds de fences Whar de lazy folks kin lean, An’ he puts ‘em roun’ conwenient Whar de crops is growin’ green. put de autumn time is flyin’: CURVE Soon de chilblains nip yo'r toes, TOPSY-TURVY ‘An’ go! lose yo'r crop ob taters “Waal, how's that? There was only one os ——Wa-al, I swan! If the critter ain't turned up Wite yo" squint along de tows. trich in that pen last night, and now there’stwo.—— its toes PRECEDENT. S THE mana; A «Danke cattle co at ra =) iu ich in southwest Texas was registering at a Corpus Christi hotel the clerk ren that he thought the name s be spelled with a double ¢ ang friend so lang as th ity is satis« fied with one d till his name one d will be good eno Tod.” AUTUMN SCHE NOW politica With schemes to get the vote out, The while the impecunious dude for John are imbued Schemes hard to get his coat out. PERFECT SYSTEM Northern visitor —" Bur isn’t there some danger that you might occasionally lynch the wrong man?” Georgian—" Not the least, sah, We have a written list of eligibles, and everything is in EVIDENTLY WANDERING. Mas, Jonrs—""Oh; doctor! fs my husband sill nal?” alphabetical ordah, sah.” Docrox Dusrst—" Extremely so. When T told him your mother was coming to-morrow he smiled.” comicbooks.com