Judge, 1900-08-25 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 25, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Infelicity"** mocks nagging wives through a traditional saying—"a word to the wise is sufficient"—implying Mrs. Henpeck's husband should take the hint to stop complaining, though he won't. **"Smelling a Yard"** jokes about imprecise female measurement: a mother measures cloth by stretching from her nose to her outstretched arm, a comically inaccurate method. Her puzzled son asks how to "smell a yard," misunderstanding her process—gentle mockery of both female practicality and childhood confusion. **"A Good Time Coming, Boys"** satirizes public anxiety about industrial monopolies (the "coal trust"), suggesting their members will die before facing consequences since the earth will freeze before the sun cools—dark humor about economic injustice. **"What's in a Name?"** puns on golf hats: golfers don't wear them, so the hat's name is ironic. **"She Couldn't See It"** presents Mrs. Doyle studying French for two years, only for her husband to forbid her attending the Paris Exposition—satirizing wasted female education and male control of married women.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INFELICITY. TOR | = How sae ++ WORD to the wise is a 7 5 RN ” “Le sufficient,” J ! fering with Said Mrs. Henpeck to her i , po omy re se lord I i J me it in the nec ‘As she closed her remarks upon , widows and “larks" And paused for a look of rk to do whe I Wi | 1 Augus “<Sis” will be pleased to answer any question relating to accord. io ee the welfare of our readers. Write on the edge of the paper 2 4 ) only, and limit queries to 500,000 words. Lay your troubles “* Yes; a word to the wise is at her feet. Readers will all be answered in their turn, sufficien explain it 8. M. 4 ae! Joved him too | Thought he with a mute i d ? : surprise, My dear Miss Hopkins, ‘iat when mats samied be T come to you with my cross. I am six feet five and shouldn't be harried weigh only ninety-eight pounds. Could you suggest any course When he can’t get in a word of treatment that has been beneficial in other cases? I will edgewise.” try anything, Hopefully yours, S. Kinannones, dil iw = ul nf) Aah = reshe SMELLING A es 2 4 gn a YARD. ; a ake W! LLIE JONES sat in wondering silence, watching his TO STOP THE LEAK mother while she “Hi, there, mister! You better get a plumber, ‘coz your measured some lengths _ ice is leakin’.” of cloth. She counted ayard as from about the tip of her averted nose to the farthest point she could reach Acertain g by stretching out her plump arm sidewise — a method of measurement resorted to Late mesene alike by the little and the big, the long-armed and the short-armed of her sex, and Se from New Y deemed by each as accurate and decisive. Observing the fixity of her son's gaze, she helping to ot aye iN =: C os paused for a moment to inquire what the matter was. gentleman Co D) pa i : . the speaker's 3 Si “Oh, mamma,” replied the little boy, “I do wish you'd tell me how to smell a y NSee4 Aen yard.” m y asesion of “a GOOD TIME COMING, BOYS.” “Twant ar for a seconc Ss VELL, there ‘s one mighty consoling thing, at any rate,” remarked Mr. Wil- arcund the ¢ kins as he finished reading an ominous scientific article in a Sunday paper. hand ia What is that?" inquired Mrs. Wilkins sympathetically. Live in the water and eat hay. Hippo's do this and they're all fat. “ Why, I've just been thinking that none of the members of the coal trust can hardly hope to live until the sun cools off and the earth freezes as hard as a cellar- 8: ‘one of the A floor.” “ WHAT'S IN A NAME? Pac Mrs. Waggles—" Do you know why this is called a golf hat ?” Waggles—" Yes, my dear. It’s because people who play golf don’t wear them.” T al Pure, « Chale fully hauste dition: An In SHE COULDN'T SEE IT. . Mrs. Hovie —"* Education is a great thin; And notice how fat pigs get. Just try living in a pen and eating Mrs, Dovte—"* Oh, I don't know; I've been studying Fre inch for two cabbages out of a trough, years and now my husband won't let me go to the Paris exposition,” comicbooks.com