Judge, 1900-08-18 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 18, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge satirizes late-19th-century American politics and social attitudes. The header references voters changing their votes "this fall," suggesting an election context (likely 1900, given McKinley references). **Political content:** Two brief items mock Republicans who oppose McKinley—a Missouri constable angry about losing military contracts during the Spanish-American War, and an Ohio man ("Wobbly" Watkins) whose letter to the president went unanswered. The satire mocks these disaffected voters as petty and self-interested rather than principled. **Social humor:** Other pieces target farmers' mathematical ignorance ("His Calculation"), failed marriages, and incompetent yacht-owners—typical Judge fare mocking middle-class pretension and incompetence. **"Welcome Shade"** is sentimental romantic verse about courting under a parasol—lighthearted period romance. The page is primarily satirical commentary on voter attitudes during a McKinley-era election, combined with domestic humor typical of the magazine's style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
VOTES THIS FALL. A WELCOME SHADE. N AUGUST days I rarely roam By inland lake or ocean bay, A not unwilling stay-at-home, You'll find me at my desk each day ; And though I seek no sylvan glade, ‘A sweeter boon is mine than all— For, ah! I find a welcome shade ‘Neath Dolly's silken parasol. When Dolly deigns to take a walk T'm near to join her; so you see We oft enjoy a pleasant talk Beneath the lace-fringed canopy. And though the sun with torrid spite Beams down on this terrestrial ball We're screened against his vengeance quite "Neath Dolly's silken parasol. The out-of-towners and their ilk We envy not. ‘Tis pleasant here, When just a circling span of silk Doth bring two heads so very near; And when love's vows we whisper low We're interrupted not at all— A fact we found out long ago *Neath Dolly's silken parasol, NOW PARNELL GREENE. Mutviiie, Missourt—Jay Meel of this place, Republican and town constable, says he would see himself hung before he would vote for McKinley again. Mr, Meel failed to sell an old mule to the war department during the Spanish war; since then he has been much opposed to imperialism, HIS CALCULA- TION, s+] HAVE been do- in’ a little esti- matin’, Almiry,” said honest Farmer Horn- beak as he unbent the kink in his spine ard > straightened back from the table. “I've been figgerin’ how far a ‘ farmer has to walk in raisin’ a forty-acre field of com, To plow the ground in the first place he walks a little mat- ter of three hundred and fifty miles; to har- row it before plantin® he strolls a slight ja'nt of fifty miles or so; and in cultivatin’ it he jogs over a mere baggytell . Y, On1o—J, ‘ Wobbly” Watkins of this city, a gentleman who has traveled about a good deal, says the sentiment of the country is against McKinley. It was Watkins who wrote to the president last winter, asking for a pass from Sandusky to Butte, Montana. He never got an answer to his letter. except, perhaps, just out of the immediate vicinity of the poor- house—only just out of it, I may say, though.” Tom ¥. MORGAN. THE AMATEUR SKIPPER. Jaggles—"It look- ed to meas if he might have avoided wreck- / ing his yacht. Why didn’t he keep his tiller down?” Waggles—"1 fancy he was too sea- sick even to do that.” Wife, WHY Mii Uy M, ANOTHER FAILURE, Eprti—"* Penelope's husband has just joined Tammany hall.” ErHeL—" Goodness me! And she married that man to reform him.” ¢sLPAVE you read the latest book?” “Only seventeen of three hundred miles, mak- in’ a sum total of seven hun- dred miles, not to mention the amount of sa’nterin’ that has to be done when the crop is gathered.” “ Why, I shouldn't have reely thought it was that much, Ezry,” returned his wife in mild astonishment. “Waral, I have to say that I expected it was some more; but then, you see, I've trudged the whole dis- tance. Seven hundred miles, walked in a straight line, would be quite an excursion, wouldn't it? But when the farmer predestrianates, so to describe the interestin’ occu- pation, in cultivatin’ a crop he just sasshays back and forth and don’t reely git any- where in particular, Come to think about it, though, it HEREBY HANGS A TALE. Suz—** Why couldn't we build our nest in that A BAD BREAK. clock?" Hx—''Simply out of the question, my dear. In the first place, I am op; would undoubtedly get oar nest full of ticks.” to strikes, and we is a good deal so with all his life and efforts. As a rule, he don’t seem to git anywhere, “Tsay, Reggy, it was nasty mean of you not to speak to me when you met me down town this forenoon.” “Why, deuce take it, man! it was wearing lavender ties this week and you tag town fault. Us fellahs are on a pink one.” comicbooks.com