Judge — August 18, 1900 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SLEEPY TOWN. There's a dear little place Called Sleepy Town, Away, far away— Where, we can't just say. All the little ones there Have heads of down, And their aunts all c Why, it looks like hai There are little fat cheeks By the hundred gross, And quaint little ears That stick straight out. They've eyes of all colors, ‘And they're not at a loss For sweet little mouths That know how to pout. Over each tiny mouth Grows a wrinkled, red nose, And beneath it a chin So soft and so round ; And if you look carefully, There, I suppose, A dear little dimple Can always be found. What queer chubby hands These little sprites have, Away, far away, In this fairy land! And they clinch them so tight That mamma just thinks They must be expecting A bold robber-band To invade their homes In dear Sleepy Town ‘And steal baby girls and boys; $o they'll all be ready To “bang” them down When they hear The first slight noise. And such dear little feet, With shell-pink toes, And little white pearls grown fast; So little, we fear, ‘That God ran short When he stuck them on At the last. We will live here forever, So each one sang As they tumbled about in space. ‘There is plenty to eat, And we don’t need clothes ; And, withal, it's A first-class place. Bat one day they awoke From their baby dreams. What they saw of the world Made them wince ; For they learned the real Was not the ideal, And they have sighed For Sleepy Town since. —Alrs, Ei A bor of [pans Tabutes on a drug-store counter lay: post dyspeptic viet them there one day. Pry some Tabules; I've beard of ‘en he. | tura Bitters, to-day. ‘So long as a woman can hold a man’s respect | he can plot no wrong to her.—If it weren't for divorces there would be more children ; and if it weren't for children there would be more divorces.—Great hearts can love more than once and be disappointed and yet love again; but they cannot lose faith once and ever have it again.—Half the married people in the world wouldn't be any more unhappy if they had mar- Tied somebody else. and the other half wouldn't be any more unhappy if they hadn't married anybody.—Wew York Press, Headaches and loss of appetite are common complaints in the spring. Try DR. SIE- GERT'S Angostura Bitters, and beware of cheap domestic substitutes. * Excuse me for breaking into your conver- sation,” said Senator Sorghum as he approached the musicians who were discussing their art ; **but who is this man you are talking about?" “We have talked of several.” ‘But the one you last mentioned, You said he had such a beautiful and unerring touch. I am willing to pay such a man good money to get out and go to work on my campaign fund."—1Vashington Star. Begin taking Abbott's, the Original Angos- You'll begin to be glad of it right away, Hit costs mo’ ter revenge wrongs den hit does ter suffer dem.—Some people learn enuff in six weeks’ trabbel to bore uddahs fo' a life- time.—Life is er busy roun’ ob unfinished busi- ness.—De trouble "bout refohm am dat a man gin'rally stahts out ter tackle de universe an’ wuhks roun’ by degrees ter ‘s pus'nal short. comin’s.—Arkansaw Thomas Cat. JUDGE'S McKINLEY DINNER-PAIL, Juvce’s (copyright) Full Dinner-pail, the meatiest and most effective campaign emblem yet devised, is triumphantly swinging round the circie of the press. Our esteemed contem- rary, the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, is running it serially, so to speak, on its edi- torial page—but the credit to JUDGE seems to have been unfortunately crowded out. Maybe our Rochester confrére “took it" as a joke, thinking that because JupcE is a funny paper imitation would be flattery enough. But we should be funnier still if we didn't want credit where it is due us, Fear is depressing and demoralizing. Never fear to attempt a duty. The confi- dent spirit is the triumphant one. Take a policy for the protection of your wife. The way will open, Apply to the Party, Soontains, | Seastore, |) AVOID IMITATIONS, 29 Broaoway, New York. pal edn of the ea G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Props. Hartroro, Conn. 20 Piccaoitty, W. LonDon, Ena. _ The ealler—* So your canary’s name is Joe, is it? Does that stand for Joseph or Jose- phine?” Small girl—* We—we don't know. That's why I call it Joe."—/ndianapolis Press. Deacon Dar kly—"* No daughter ob mine kin marry dat young Chalkly. He's an agnostic. Blanche Darkiy—* What's an agnostic, pop- pah?" Deacon Darkly—" Ignorant chile! An agnostic 's a niggah what claims he don’t like watahmelon,"—Auffalo Express. Aguinaldo paused in his long race. ‘Tam weary,” he muttered, ‘and I think I will stop sprinting.” Then he thought of the American papers he had read. ‘* No,” he continued ; ** 1 will go on, If I stop running there will be many a poor joke-writer without any theme to write upon." —Chicago News, “The whole civilized world ought to be in terested in putting down this Chinese uprising.’ “I should say so, Why, an historical novel written in Chinese dialect would be simply awful."—/ndianapolis Journal. MARQUETTE, ON LAKE SUPERIOR, is one of the most charming summer resorts reached via the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul Railway. Its healthful location, beautiful scenery, good hotels and complete immunity from hay-fever make a summer outing at Marquette, Michi- gan, very attractive from the standpoint of health, rest and comfort. For'a copy of "* The Lake Superior Country,” containing a description of Marquette and the copper country, address, with four (4) cents in stamps to pay’ postage, George H. Heafford, general passenger agent, Chicago, Illinois, WHEN WEBSTER DAVIS SPOKE. ‘Then up rose Webster Davis ‘And nodded to the roars, And gave his helpless bearers iis lecture on the Boers. ‘Then he sang to "* Old Hundred” In plaintive melody, “Oh, William Jyan Brennings Is the candidate for me. “No, no! I don't mean Brennings— 1 suffer from the heat— But Wenning Brilliams Jyan— Till save him from defeat. “ For with him as our leader Our march shall never pause. Hail! Jilliam Bryning Wennans And his see-frilver cause. “ Hurrah for Oom Kraul Puger, Who has our sympathy, And Willing Jyaam Brenn: Who'll march to victory As on and on he rambled ‘The delegates would screech, “It seems that Debster Wavis Has kopjes in his speech.” —Baltimore American. “My parents may come between us,” she faltered. “If they do,” he exclaimed hotly, ‘they must be pretty small.” And he pressed her still closer to his manly breast.—PAtladel- phia Record, iskey ee Green Labe' There are certain tests that prove the merits of whiskey, Trimble Green Label Whiskey has stood every test. ‘Try it and you will understand why itis the best. We guerantee that It is a pure, unadulterated Rye, 10 years old, aged b time, not artificially. ery * AT ALL FIRST-CLASS DEALERS, WHITE, HENTZ & CO., Phil. and N. Y., Sole Proprietors. Established 1793, q]| THE “SOHMER” HEADS THE AMERICA’S FAMOUS HEALTH UNDERWEAR BOOKLET 10 ‘Jopor’s Lrwnany ts fall of pare fun. 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