Judge, 1900-07-21 · page 10 of 18
Judge — July 21, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple satirical pieces typical of the magazine's humor: **"What She Heard"** is a domestic comedy about a sick Mr. Chubb who, confined to bed under doctor's orders of silence, misinterprets a stone-quarry explosion as his wife talking—then catastrophizes that she has literally "exploded" from the strain of silence. The joke plays on marital anxiety and misheard sounds. **"Love and Unbelief"** is a sentimental poem about rejecting Love's advances due to poverty ("lack-gold folk"), only to regret it after Love departs to visit wealthier neighbors. It satirizes both romantic self-pity and class consciousness. **"The Other Variety"** offers a brief pun: a runaway automobile lacks "horse-sense." **"An Expert Judge"** depicts a poor farmer's wife dismissing a vagrant (Weary Willie) before he speaks, claiming she can tell by his voice what inferior pie-crust he must make. It satirizes snap judgments and class prejudice. The cartoons employ working-class dialect and stereotypes common to era humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHAT SHE HEARD. LOOM hung in clouds over the cot- tage near the stone-quarry in* Subington, where the Chubbs dwelt. Mr. Chubb was very sick. He lay up- on his bed ina darkened room. It was very quiet there. The doctor had de- creed that no one should talk aloud. Suddenly a blast at the stone-quar- ry was fired, It made a report like un- to that of acannon. It shook the earth. The house trembled, rattling the win- dows. The sick man moved uneasily. “ There!” he whispered. “ Where, dear, what?” Mrs. Chubb bent anxiously over the bed, Some- thing told her that she was to hear words that would nearly break her heart. She clinched her hands, listening. ; “There!” said Mr. Chubb in a pitifully weak voice—but little stronger than a breath,“ The—doc—tor—for—bade—her Coprricht, r00, by Judge Company. —to—talk—to—me—and—now—she—has—exploded !" “ Humph !" ejaculated Mrs. Chubb internally. And then she sank to her knees, praying that he might not be taken from her. Wire Grassttorrer—“Aw, say, ma; you don't play fair, You can't jump over three men at once.” SOLICITUDE. Weary WILLIE Miss Peist —** Dear me ! Your dog jest bit a piece out uv my leg.” T hope you bathe regularly.” LOVE AND UNBELIEF. OVE stood knocking at my door— Love, with garland-trophied head. “* Have you room for me? he said ; ** Thave knocked here once before,” Smiling, sighing young Love said, While I guarded clote the door. * Love,” I sighed, with bitter grace, ** At some ivied, mullioned oak Echoes once for you awoke. ‘At my neighbor's, fair of face ; Love wooes not us lack-zold folk, I sighed to him with bitter grace. Love fix't on me mournful eyes. ** As you will,” he said, and bent Low that brow with myrtles brent, Slung his pipes and palmer-wise Out along the world-ways went, I saw him go, with dew-brimmed eyes. Tho’ long my door has been ajar Never now comes Love to me; Other thresholds visits he. T can hear him from afar Piping them melodiously, While in vain my door *s ajar. THE OTHER VARIETY. Freddie —" Why does a runa ay automobile cut up such capers ?” Cobwigger—" Because, my boy. it hasn't any horse-sense.” AN EXPERT JUDGE. Mas. Farer—"* Weary Wittir— inks, mum ; a t’ousan’ t'anks ! tell yew right now, before yew open yewr mouth, thet yew won't git nuthin’ to eat here.” Tkin tell by your voice w'ot kind uv pie-crust your pies must have.” comicbooks.com