Judge, 1900-04-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — April 28, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several satirical pieces mocking contemporary American life circa early 1900s: **"She Has No Sphere of Influence"** ridicules diplomatic negotiations over China's "open-door policy." Statesmen congratulate themselves on securing promises from Russia, France, Britain, and Germany—then realize they never consulted China itself. The satire skewers Western imperial arrogance: powerful nations negotiating China's fate without Chinese input. **"Marriage Proposals in Stage-Life"** contrasts theatrical romance with theatrical reality. On stage, actors deliver flowery vows ("Nothing but death shall separate us"). Off-stage, the same actors use crude, transactional language ("I'm stuck on yer shape"). The joke exposes the gap between theatrical artifice and actors' actual cynicism. Minor pieces mock Easter bonnets, Lenten hypocrisy, and a doctor's joke about a patient with a needle in her appendix ("the vermiform appendix is needless"). The humor relies on recognizing contemporary diplomatic debates and theatrical conventions familiar to 1900s audiences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
+~— THE GENTLE SPRING ZEPHYR AND MAGGIE'S EASTER BONNET. MARRIAGE PROPOSALS IN STAGE-LIF ACTOR (in real life, at the theatrical boarding-howse\—"* Say, Mame, Actor—"‘Adorable maiden, I love you. Say that you will be my life- I'm stuck on yer shape. It’s up to yer to go to the Little Church, ant partner—my own little wife.” ActRess—" Yes. Nothing but death shall separate us." uage SHE HAS NO SPHERE OF INFLUENCE. *© AND 50,” said the distinguished statesman, “we have assurances from all the powers interested that the open-door policy will-be maintained in all Chinese ports?” “Yes,” replied another statesman; “we have promises from Russia, France, Great Britain and Germany.” “Why, say!" “Well, yshat is it?” t!We haven't consulted China in the matter.” THE LATE-SUPPER GIRL. A NHILE ago, when worldly bent, She picked the toothsome wish-bone ; But later, when she was keeping Lent, She wrestled with the fish-bone, A CONNECTICUT doctor has a woman patient who has a needle in the vermiform appendix; and yet the doctors have always said that the vermiform appendix is needless. 8. * Muskeeter-nettin’ an’ her mudder’s geranium. Huh!" we'll get married, AcrRvss— ents an’ divorce courts." rt, Jake! Nothing shall separate us but corespond- **And all wondered why it was so beastly warm.” comicbooks.com