Judge — March 24, 1900 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

You smile a sweet remembrance at the last ing our paper from their neighbors ? every unanswerable argument on this sub- ject submitted to us must be accompanied by the cash for a year’s subscription. Doctor Pillsbury reports that Mr. Michael McGorry, who resides near the old turning-mill, and who chastised his wife last Wednes: night because of her unwillingness to accept his statement that ninety-nine years make one century, will be out again as soon as his collar-bone knits properly. We are also glad to state that Charles Henry Tuttle, Deacon Lanks, Oscar Wadkins, old Cap'n Peggington, ‘Lias Buckleby, and E. Eugene Rump are all doing as well at the asylum as could be expected. Attention is called to the card, in this issue, of Herbert Potter, the undertaker, who urbanely requests all parties concern- ed to please refrain in the future from in- dulging in arguments on the century Provvssor Coms (openi take a look at this rheumatic gentleman, Hereafter, as an evidence of good faith, “Come out of here, Fangs, and FROM THE PET- TYVILLE PLAIN- DEALER. N THIS issue of the Plaindealer will be found sixty-seven long and short communications conclusively settling in sixty-seven different ways the all-absorbing twen- tieth- century dispute — twenty-eight others, also conclusively settling it in twenty-eight still different ways, are crowded out for lack of space. In this connection we offer our readers a little problem of our own. We have four hundred and eighty-three paid-up sub- scribers in this neighbor- hood, and have already received more than eleven hundred letters from con- stant readers irrevocably settling the question of when the nineteenth cent- ury ends and the twen- tieth begins; find how many persons are habit- ually beating us out of our just dues by borrow= os “Papen Santana) OUT OF THE QUESTION. Mrs, FLyanour—*' Oh, dear me! I suppose I must give up something during Lent.” \ Me. FL¥avout—" Why not give up talking so much?” Ww] Mrs. Fivanout—" What! And have you get gay il and worldly? Well, hardly. i question at funerals, as such controversies are bound to - mar the solemnity with which every obsequies should invariably be prosecuted. Hi Price, the genial proprietor of the corner-store, requests us to emphatically announce for him that here- after prominent citizens will not be permitted to demon- strate the incontrovertibility of their own arguments on the question of when the twentieth century begins, nor the utter fallacy of the hog-wash of their opponents, by means of soda-crackers, prunes, red herrings or dried apples, nipped from his boxes and barrels and arranged in rows of ninety-nine or one hundred on the counter, without payment therefor at the usual pric ly in advance, ‘The tendency to eat up said articles during the height of the debate causes endless complications, Mr. Price complains, and incidentally threatens him with penury. He therefore declares that he is not running either a pandemonium or a sanitarium, and that he is emphatically no clam; and he hopes that a word to the wise will be sufficient. Covorep crrizi what cure de rhumatiz 7” Proressox Coirs —** No, I'm not the m. d. you speak of, but I don't doubt I can correct your complaint.” “Is you de faith-doctah TOM P. MORGAN. 3. The cure. A GOOD SUBSTITUTE, comicbooks.com