Judge, 1900-02-24 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 24, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical jokes typical of Judge's humor, circa early 1900s: **"She Did"**: A pun on "cremated" coffee—the Colorado visitor mishears/mispronounces "cream" as "cremated," creating absurdist humor. **"The Two Extremes"**: Contrasts Northern and Southern attitudes toward violence. The Kentucky feudist reveals arbitration ironically *started* their feud, satirizing rural backwardness and cycles of violence. **"The Literary Digest"**: A newspaper joke about reading difficulty—comparing newspaper layers to coat applications. **"A Superstitious Woman"**: Mocks superstitious African American speech patterns and beliefs (period stereotyping). **"A Substitute"**: Mocks Prohibition-era substitutes for alcohol, calling it "cereal compound" while clearly being liquor. **"George Washington" items**: Play on the cherry-tree legend, with the child consulting conscience and threatening the dog. The page reflects Judge's mix of puns, ethnic stereotypes, political jabs, and literary wordplay typical of Gilded Age satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
age SHE DID. *+sC)F COURSE O you take cream in your cof- fee?" said Miss Knickerbock to her visitor from Colo- rado. “Yes, Miss Knickerbock; I prefer my coffee cremated,” replied the fair westerner. WHERE IT “ THE TWO EXTREMES, ORIGINALED: Mr. Blackwash will whitewash, se[T IS shock- ing,” observ- ed the visitor from the north to the grizzled survivor of a Kentucky feud, “how these feuds perpetuate themselves. Is there no way to stop them? “Do you ever try arbitration? Why not both sides come together sometime and try to arbitrate the matter?” “ We did once, mister,” replied the survivor. “That was how the blamed thing started.” THE LITERARY DIGEST. Finst coat—"" Do you generally take the Shantytown Seconp GoaT—' A SUPERSTITIOUS WOMAN, “ Ya.as, I'm mad—co'se I is. Yo! all de time so superstitious—be- lieve in signs an’ numbers an’ omens an’ superstitions till yo’ done got me so hoodooed dat I can't move without bein’ Jonahed.” A SUBSTITUTE. You want ten cents? What is in that bottle in tras ket?” fe Tramr—"' Dis, lady? Why, lady, dis is a distilled cereal compound dat Tuse as a substitute fer coffee.” POSTPONEMENT. . *GHICAGO threatened to hang some aldermen some weeks ago. Was the threat put into execution ?” “No; it was postponed until after the next census had been taken.” AN EXCEPTION. GEORGE WASHINGTON'S veracity Has passed unquestioned by, And yet I know an instance when He carried well Belinda wrote she loved me not (Of course, though, I knew better), ‘And then she took George Washington And stuck him on the letter, MCLANDBUKGH WILSON. A WHEELBARROW. *+/M[¥!" exclaimed Edith indignantly, “that man ought to be ashamed to hold a cart by the legs like that and make it walk on its hands.” News?” fe always take it—it is so easy to digest.” IN A HURRY, «¢*6(CHUMPLEY has committed sui- cide.” “Yes; he couldn’t wait to die, and so he shot himself.” “He took time by the firelock.” CAUGHT IN THE ACT. +6] WONDER if I'd better tell my father,” thought Wash- ington, junior, as he surveyed the cherry- tree. “You'd better,” whispered his con- science, “because you know Washington sen- ior.” Most women read their love-story in snatches—here a be- ginning, there a bit from the dénouement, here a sentence, there a chapter. we'll have her down.” WHY G. WASHINGTON DID IT, Littte Grorce—"* Just wait a minute, Towser, and