Judge, 1900-02-24 · page 6 of 16
Judge — February 24, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Couldn't Play Golf"**: A tramp named Goff laments having his name without the leisure activity—social commentary on class and access to recreation. **"Where He Banks"**: A temperance lecture scene mocking working-class men who spend household money on alcohol instead of supporting families. The drunk figure represents the moral failing targeted by temperance advocates. **"A Comparative Picnic"**: Two Irish-American characters (Callahan and Costigan, indicated by dialect) discuss their friend Casey's catastrophic misfortunes—lost limbs, disease, murder charges—yet Costigan argues unmarried men have it worse. The joke inverts sympathy: marriage is presented as worse than physical devastation, mocking both bachelor complaints and Irish-immigrant stereotypes. The page reflects early 20th-century American anxieties: class divisions, alcohol's social impact, and ethnic humor targeting Irish immigrants. The satirical tone assumes readers share contempt for both drunkenness and male self-pity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ns “What do WHAT IT you mean ?" SHOWED. EL “ They show “BY THE \% Z => that. although way,” ° George couldn't - exclaimed the lie his contem- lover of his poraries un- country, and doubtedly could, particularly of as still can the his country's fa- children of the ther, “have you country of which seen the anec- he was the fa- dotes of Wash- ther.” ington that have just been collect- Sam! WHERE HE io! ~~ te DG “0 ed from various BANKS. obscure sources SOYES," said by an eminent the tem- historian and published in a recent maga- perance lectur- er, growing elo- quent, “that {wat zine ?” man takes the “1 have," re- money right out plied the cynic. of the mouths “Are they not wonderful? They show the of his wife and children and spends it for many-sided rum.” character of our country's hero HIS WAY. and cast an en- ‘ ‘TELL you tirely new light what's a on his wonder- ful personality. fact," said the wide - mouthed They show him man who had as a wit, as a traveled a little gallant, as a COULDN'T PLAY GOLF. and was forever brave soldier, as Lapy—"' Why are you sobbing?” babbling about a business man, TRaMr—"‘Ah, lady, all me life I've had de name widout de game. Me name is Goff, lady.” it. “ Seattle, out and in fact in in Washington many ways that we would never dream of. I consider such a compilation state, is so blamed hilly that whenever I wanted to cross a street I did so of great value as showing the true man as he was.” by climbing a telegraph-pole.” “Huh! said the cynic. ‘ They may throw some light on George, perhaps, but they are really more valuable on account of the light they NLOVABLENESS is soul-deformity; yet people who would scorn to throw on his contemporaries and their descendants.” stare at a cripple will sneer at an unsought woman. ) a A COMPARATIVE PICNIC. __ CALLAHAN—"* Poor Casey is worried to death. Afther losin’ both arms an’ wan leg be the trolley-car he be took down wid appindicitis an’ pneumonia, com- plicated wid angina pectoris an’ muscular rheumatism, an’ whin he gits out av the hospital they be goin’ to thry him fer murderin’ Jerry Hogan tin mont's age an’ "— Costigan (disgustedly)—"* Shure, an’ Casey has nawthin’ to worry about, an’ Casey has nawthin’ to complain about. Casey isn't married. ‘These fool bache- lors make me sick wid their imaginary throubles.”” comicbooks.com