Judge — February 10, 1900 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THB JUDGB BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAMADA IH AOVANCS. One copy, one year. or 52 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks = + + 1.35 Including the Cunistuas Jvocs. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te all Sorcign countries im the postal union, $0.00 Chancery l 17, Bream's builé ‘Saa rchange, Londen; Brentano's, avenue def Opera, Pari rbach's mews Corner Pitth Aveaue and Sixteeath Street, New York. [W-Circulation larger than any ether cartoon weekly in the world. EB NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. JOHN BULL has come to realize that the Boer ye have always with yqu. HE WAR-CRY “Remember Majuba hill” has been dropped by the British. What they want to do is to forget it as hard as they can, eee SOUTHERN PAPERS agree that the south is for expansion; so that Mr. Bryan's opposition to that kind of progress has greatly contracted his vote, DEWEY got five pianos for Christmas-presents. Probably if Mrs. Dewey doesn’t play on all of them at one time the donors will demand them back. eee HE PRINCE OF WALES will be the colonel of a British regiment of rough riders. Since his fall, a year or more ago, he is more likely to be a rough tumbler. MARRIAGE CLUB in West Virginia selects partners for life by drawing names from a hat. Thus do its members succeed in talking through that useful vehicle. HAVING SPENT a million dollars, Pugilist Sullivan finds himself without a dollar; but there are so many hats going around now that there isn’t room to slide another in edgewise. eee THE WAGES of one hundred and seventy thousand workers in this country have been raised since the first of December. All the whining in the world cannot weaken that colossal fact. A BRITISH SHELL the other day broke up a Boer camp-meeting. The Boers are sensitive in behalf of their religion, and pres- ently they went out and killed several hundred of the unbelieving enemy. +6 QN ENGLISHMAN,” says an English- man, “never knows when he is beat- en.” They have very slow newspapers over there, but they have printed considerable information to that effect within a few weeks. GOEBEL says he won't rest until he sits in the governor's chair. Goe- bel somewhat resembles the dog in the manger. He not only won't rest, himself, but he won't give one to the people of Kentucky. eee MB: BRYAN says the popocrats have driven the Republicans to a dec- laration in behalf of a gold standard. We have heard of hungry men being driven to their dinners in the same way, and it didn’t require much of a struggle. R. BRYAN says we have got near enough to the Democratic national convention to know that that body will readopt the Chicago plat- form. Then we are near enough to the national election to know that McKinley will get a second term by a greatly increased majority. A BASE CANARD. New rarson—"' I undabstan’ yo'r husban’ knows all about de acts ob de apostles?” Mrs. Jackson—"' Inf'mous lig, pahson ; inf’mous lie! Who suspects ‘im, an’ when was if stole?” HURTING THE PROPRIETIES. ENATOR MASON will next offer a resolution of sympathy for certain horse-thieves who were surrounded by a much larger number of offi- cers and put in jail. Why cannot cowardly man fight men of his size? Why must the susceptibilities of the public be continually rasped in behalf of the under dog in the fight? THE PERIL OF BAILEY. JOSEPH BAILEY has adopted the tall silk hat, and it is only a step from that to the spike-tail. But when he has both on he had better keep out of Texas. People there look upon those articles of dress as ene- mies of mankind, and the penalty for wearing them is to be shot on sight. And the world would fain hold on to Mr. Bailey until he dies naturally. A NEEDED CHANGE. PERHAPS the tame panther presented to Mr. Bryan will answer for the Democratic emblem in place of the poor old jackass, which has long borne too heavy a load and been too heavily imposed upon, The panther is lithe and agile, and if he can’t carry a large load he can with his cries carry more or less terror to his enemies, and he fights with his face rather than his heels to the foe. MANIFEST DESTINY. ORALLY, commercially, and in behalf of a proper ambition, according to Senator Beveridge, the United States must hold the Philippines and govern them until they are able to govern themselves prop- erly and profitably; and the senator has been on the ground and knows whereof he speaks. Nobody doubts this except a few Boston mugwumps and the Demo- cratic party under its populistic leaders. FIGHTING BY SUBSTITUTE, DUKE goes to South Africa to fight, attended by four servants and with an outfit of horses and carriages; and now there is to be a “corps of gentle- men for service in the republic.” All of these gentle- men will doubtless have their guns loaded for them; and perhaps the servants will get on the firing-line and do the shooting and the dying. In this way cam- paigning may be done very comfortably. CIVILIZATION. Politics there is, and politics and politics—in short, altogether too much of it. It keeps the people humping to pay the taxes — Trey Press. ETTER TOO MUCH than too little. It would be far more expensive to have no politics, for that would be to have no govern- ment—and that would be to have no protec- tion for life or property. For politics is ci ilization, with a slight amount of evil as a drawback to all the good that civilization means. THE AGONY OF PUBLIC SPEAKING. R, KIPLING briefly addressed a small assemblage the other day. An account says he was very pale; that he looked not at the audience, but apparently at something very far away; that he ran through his words like a school-boy on exhibition, and that when through he rushed out of the place and went home without a word to anybody. Few famous ‘men of this period are without the gift of limited oratory; and the ordeal to those who have it not is not the less painful for that reason. Fancy, however, the timidity of this most confident and self-possessed of recent writers. ABUSE OF WORDS. Is THERE ANYTHING cunning in calling a man who has his neck stretched a rubberneck? Is it funny or witty? Yet it is the correct. word for that exhibition, and when it is spoken those who hear it laugh. Why do they laugh? Does the word do anything more than state what appears to be a fact hardly worth noticing? A man is hanged. Would it be cunning to call him by that word? And who gives innocent words these extra meanings? It was a fad to call old stories chestnuts, There was no reason in it. There was not fun, or wit. It seemed stupid. And yet the word chestnut was adopted for that purpose by a great many oth- erwise sensible people. Who can account for these things? comicbooks.com