Judge, 1900-02-03 · page 7 of 16
Judge — February 3, 1900 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes people who exploit others' misfortunes for social or personal gain. The main article defines "sympathy-brokers" as manipulative listeners who exaggerate your problems to make themselves indispensable, sapping your character and weakening your resilience. Judge argues these people are societal menaces promoting "insubordination," "anarchy," and "divorce." The satire targets a specific turn-of-century American social type: well-meaning (or predatory) confidants who professionalize emotional labor, converting genuine sorrows into currency for their own influence. The piece's moral: maturity means handling real suffering privately, without requiring such validation-brokers. The accompanying cartoons on this page—about alligators, domestic squabbles, and children's mischief—appear to be separate humorous vignettes typical of Judge's miscellaneous content, using no particular political references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Side SYMPATHY- BROKERS. SYMPATHY-BROKER is a person to whom you take your sorrows in order to realize on them. When you are thrown with a number of sympathy-brokers you have great times syndicatiny your sorrow: ‘The sympathy-broker has time and tolerance and taffy, and you get a por- tion of all three. “The good sympathy-broker—the one who gets the most of your business— always sees things exactly as you do, only a little more so. Your grievances, illuminated with the sympathy-broker’s search-light, are much greater than you thought they were. ‘The sympathy-broker has had experiences, too, but never anything to com- pare with yours. Your sorrows are just the worst of anybody's. It’s so con- soling to be assured that yours are the worst in the world. It's such good fun to suffer. 2 Now the sympathy-brokers should be caged and relegated to inaccessible localities where the license is high. They are a menace to the community; they are promoters of insubordination ; they breed anarchy and divorce; they destroy THE END. * Now, will you have the refrain?” “Yes, yes! "Refrain, by all means.” content and create distrust ‘and doubt; they weaken your character and, like vam- pires, they sap the blood of your soul; they paralyze your energies, nourish your conceit, destroy your logic, distract your thoughts, and ruin your ethical perspec- tive. ‘This is the brokerage they pay you. It is a vicious stimulant. Sympathy-brokers are the brakes and stumbling-blocks to the wheels of success. In the discipline of life you keep vour real sorrows to yourself. You are not grown up until you have lived beyond the time when you require the attention of a sympathy-broker. Read that last sentence over again, MARYOT MOLT CAMOOK, A PREDICAMENT. THE ALLIGATOR—"* What in the world am I going to do? I've gone and swallowed a cork-leg, and now I WOMAN may wish a man hadn't can't sink.” RETDIDS kissed her, but she never forgets a man who has. oe Pook !said Ho- jack. “I be- lieve with T. Wilber- force Beauregard in this matter, and I tell you he's a recognized authority.” “Who recognizes him as an authority?” asked Tomdik. “Ido.” HE KNEW. Cobwigger— My boy, you don’t know what trouble Freddie —"* What are you talking about, pa? You have only ma to mind, while I've to mind both of you.” [TIS a mystery why some men and wo- NO GLORY IN IT. men should be able to : “Now phwat’s th’ matther wid yez—bin foightin’ 2" inspire love which they TERROR ONS HOES “Naw; gittin’ licked. Rendered Moruer Cextirepe— Johnny, you must be more cares» Vez look loike yez had bin in a proize-foight. can neither understand=s:¢a1" That's two hundred pairs of shoes you've worn out this “Naw ; jist a common every-day figh nor return, month.” comicbooks.com