Judge, 1900-02-03 · page 6 of 16
Judge — February 3, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Slow Philadelphia"** jokes about theatrical productions losing momentum in that city—a common vaudeville gag suggesting Philadelphia audiences were less enthusiastic. **"Beyond the Mists"** references the Dreyfus Affair (the famous French military scandal), mocking pretentious talk about "higher intelligence" and mysteries. **"His Last Resource"** satirizes the Boer War (British forces in South Africa). A general asks a soldier what order he'd give if surrounded; the soldier answers "kneel for prayers"—mocking military strategy as ineffectual and suggesting the situation is hopeless. **"Without and Within"** presents sentimental contrasts: poverty with love versus comfort without it. **"Could Work Up Speed"** is a real-estate joke about a steep hill—the agent suggests climbing it only evenings (coming home tired) but the decline helps mornings (catching trains). The cartoons use exaggerated drawings typical of Judge's style. Overall, the page mixes romance, military critique, and gentle domestic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
sLow Tue. INcéxur—"* Did your play have a good run?" THE LEADING-MAN—"* Yes; until we struck Philadelphia; and then, of course, it had nothing better than a walk,” A COMPANION-PIECE. . ‘| SUPPOSE,” said the thoughtful one, “ that‘ Maud Muller’ might Bc be called the companion poem to‘ The MADE HIS MARK. ‘4 man with the hoe.’"” 1, “'Ya-as, my name's Star, I'm going to try writing it Quoth ‘the thoughtless one, ‘on the ice. — can’t imagine why.” “ Well, Maud was the girl with the BEYOND THE MISTS. rakesyou taneniber? + LTE HAS gone,” said the friend of the dead news- Paper man sadly, “to solve the great problem. HIS LAST RESOURCE. He has entered into that realm of higher intelligence ’ = where the mighty mysteries of this poor little world are Generalissimo (British forces, as an open book, Ah, dear, fortunate fellow! Per- South Africa)—“ Supposing that in the haps he will even get a clear understanding of the s execution of my orders you suddenly Dreyfus matter.” \ became aware that you had walked 4 \ into a Boer ambush, that the enemy's horse was rapidly closing in on your rear, that both of your flanks and front were covered by sharpshooters and your whole command completely ex- posed to rapid-fire and Maxim guns— what would your first order be in that sort of situation?” General—*Ground arms and kneel for prayers, sir.” 2, —Ugh!— WITHOUT AND WITHIN. ITHOUT the street is bleak and bare; The snow falls fast through the freez- ing air. My purse is empty, my coat is thin, But a warm, glad heart is buttoned within ; For she, my darling ! has written a line— “+ [will wait, for I love you. Your valentine.” Without Saint Valentine's day is fair; Spring seems to stir in the warm, soft air. I need no longer my coat of fur As I go to carry these flowers to her— To her, where she sleeps in her narrow bed— Yet within me my heart is frozen dead. MARGARET WENTWORTH. COULD WORK UP SPEED. Prospective buyer—* Yes, | like this house as well as any that you have in Morningcrow, but it stands on such a fearfully steep hill. It would tire a man —S=> out completely to climb it.” WHEN HE BROUC THE ICE. Agent— Well, you would have to May—"‘ You smiled very sweetly at that man, and climb it-only in the evening when you yet I remember your telling me there was a coolness came from the train; and just think what between you.” alas Mawe—" There was last summer, He's our ice- 9 help that steep decline would be morn- man,” ings when you had to catch trains!” 8, ——Well, I did.” comicbooks.com