Judge, 1900-01-27 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 27, 1900 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humor pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Prima-Donnas Old and New"** contrasts legendary sirens (the Lorelei) who lured men to rocks with modern "sirens" (likely referring to real estate speculators or developers) who lure rocks/property from men—satirizing speculative bubbles and real estate schemes. **"A Drop in Real Estate"** jokes about a cyclone causing property value collapse. **"No Work for Him"** mocks a "calamity-howler"—a person whose profession was predicting disasters—as unemployable in better economic times. **"A Paying Experiment"** uses marriage as setup: love costs nothing initially, but marriage means paying bills instead of compliments. The remaining pieces are light domestic humor about apologies and marriage misunderstandings. The page reflects early 1900s American anxieties about economic cycles, real estate speculation, and changing social conditions, presented through gentle, pun-based comedy rather than pointed political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
eno wiser AN ANTELOPE. PRIMA-DONNAS OLD AND NEW. [8 LEGENDARY times, which now Investigation mocks, We're told of bow the lorelei sang To lure men on the rocks. We do things in a different way From what they did them then; For nowadays the siren sings To lure the rocks from men. MC LANDAURGH WILSON. A DROP IN REAL ESTATE. Onther Rhode—" There's been a terrible drop in real estate out my way.” Stayat Holm— Ah! I thought business was booming everywhere. What's the cause—still hard times Onther Rhode—* RETROACTIVE. THE DoG-FIsH—** Look here! if it is true that fish is brain-food you've eaten enough of my family lately to know better.” NO WORK FOR HIM. #4 MADAM.” he said suppliantly, “would you be willing to help a man who cannot find any- thing to do at his legitimate busi- ness?” “IT might,” replied the benevo- lent creature. “ By the way, what is your business?” “I'm a calamity-howler, ma‘am.” A PAYING EXPERIMENT. LOVING is a paying business, More than hope fulfills. There's my wife; with love intense Once I paid her compliments— Now I pay her bills. SAYING THE AGREEABLE THING. Mrs, Cobwigger—' This is a splendid cure for a cold I've given oa Mrs. Crawford—"As it comes from you, my dear, I'm sure it must be. You don’t know how sorry I am that I haven't a cold, so I could try it at once.” NO APOLOGY NEED APPLY. CHARLEY (with the flowers)—''I love you, but I know I am not worthy of you; I am only an apology for a man.” Miss HIGHKIK (the soubrette)—" No apology is necessary.” AFTER A SESSION AT THE CLUB. He—" Doesn't my explanation suit you?” She—" Well, it's not the kind father used to make.” Wert Wittir—"'T reckon dat bloke w'ot wrote de pome "bout de charm uv de rain on de roof must ’a’ bin fixed at some time "bout ez we are now. Next time it rains, an’ I strike a barn dat's got a roof tight ‘nuff ter keep de rain on it, Till feel like writin’ a pome meself.” comicbooks.com