Judge — January 27, 1900 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage » THE SILENCING ARGUMENT OF A FOOL Related by Mr. MeCarvey, IS often whin a man has the most to say thot he runs And ‘tis thin he says most boi kapin’ short av words. soilent. : Regan wor prancin’ up and down in froont ay his risidence this mornin’ loike a bull-pup in froont av a pace av new tin. “ Whot's ailin’ yez, Regan?” says Oi. THE IMPROMPTU SNOW-SHOES, A HUNTERS FISH-STORY, b Traine Tim— ‘I must perish in the wilderness, I can't wade another step through this snow. Oh, for a pair of snow-shoes !—— hooray!" says Oi. “"Twor moighty foine Oi wor falin’ a bit later whin she sticks the hid av her out agin. “+ Regan,’ says she, ‘'tis two girls!" “'Whoop!' says Oi, more sub- dued loike. “ But whin she sticks the hid av her “Oi've been droonk,” says he. “For whoy?” or good raison,” says he. “Yisterday.” says he, “Oi wor wait- in’ for information i from the bid- y Weir : chamber av me i \ . woife, and av a sudden the windy pops open and old Missis Mulligan sticks the hid av her out. ! 2 Regan,’ says gis ] she, ‘‘tis a girl” | ae 4) “ ‘ “Whoop! i Lega Ye CU : BETTER STILL. Mucs —"* Speakin’ uv de ice-man, Bill, how would yer like ter be de snow-man ? ee eae in’, There wor six av thim! Oi counts thim and thin Oi floies. This mornin’ Oi'm comin’ back soober and foindin’ there's only thray, after all, and Oi'm thot glad yez don’t know.” “ Regan,” says Oi, “yez should know bitter than to drink at a toime loike thot.” * out agin Oi breaks down. CAUSE FOR REJOICING, * What's the matter, Henrietta? You seem very happy this morning.” “*T should say I am happy! Last night I discovered a crack in that door-knob T've been setting on for the last six months. I do really believe it is going to hatch.” “ Divil a bit,” says Regan. “Shure, yisterday thray looks loike a rigiment to me; to-day, after seein’ the double wid whisky in me, the thray seems only raisonable. and roight. ‘Twor thot droonk thot saved me brain and pre- served a father to thim ilegant kids and a foine and indoolgent hoosband to me woife.” What's a man to say to a fool argyment loike s thot ? p Nothin’, Oi'm think- in’, and thot's whot Oi said promptly and wid ixcadin’ grace. D. M. TALMADCR, 3--g “+ Regan.’ says she, * 'tis thray girls! “Thin,” says Regan, Oi rushes to Carney’s place and bowls up, and after Oi'm will filled Oi goes : back to git another bulletin. Oi calls up to the windy and Missis Mulligan sticks her 5 hid out agin. Oi grabs the = fince for support and says to her if there's any more, and she says for me to come up. Oi goes, and Oi wor shocked distressin’ boi whot Oi'm see- — Saved! Your Uncle Tim ’s a hard rooster to kill.” comicbooks.com