Judge — January 6, 1900 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE BILLVILLE SPIRIT-MEETING. We had a sperrit-meetin’ (we'll never have no more) ‘To call up all the sperrits of them that's before.” A feller called a ** medium ™ (he wuz of mediun size) Took the contract fer the fetchin’ of them sper- rits from the skies. gone The mayor, the whole town council; the parson an’ his wife, ‘ome to shake han’s with them sperrits what had left the other life; he colonel an’ the major, the coroner an’ all, \Wuz waitin’ an’ debatin’ in the darkness 0° the hall. The medium roared *' Silence! Amanda Jones appears. Is her husband . sins been restin' twenty years.") Here's the ghost of Saily Spilkins, from the land whar glories glow. Would her husband like to see her?” feeble voice cried ** No!") resen he's (An'a “ Here's the wife of Colonel Buster; she wears ‘a heavenly smile. She wants to see the colonel, an’ she’s comin’ down the aisle.” ‘Then all wuz wild confusion; it warn't a bit o fun, With * Lord, have mercy on me!” the colonel broke an’ run, ‘Then the coroner his life, top—stop him!" cried the medium comes his second wife.” But thar warn’t a man could stop him in that whole blame settlement ; He turned a double somersault an’ out the win- der went. got skeery an’ scampered fer | ‘Then the whole town council follered an’ hol- lered all the way. ‘The parson said he had a call “bout ten miles off to pray. Me didn't preach next Sunday, an’ they tell it roun’ a bit, Accordin’ to the best reports the parson ’s run- nin’ yit. —Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitution, It seems that Uncle George's bride, the na- tion's Aunt Millie, is a heroine. While she was Mrs, Hazen she was a guest at a hotel in Kansas which was threatened by a cyclone. She piayed a quickstep on the piano to calm the fears of the other guests. It was truly an. achievement to rank with the battle of Manila bay, as the enterprising landlord, who has just thonght to tell the story, remarks.—Buffalo Expres. Henderson—* Why did you invite Jackson to spend Sunday with you? It nearly broke his heart when you married Mildred Wilkins.” Wiltiamson—" 1 know it. I thought if Jack- son came up and saw how Mildred and her mother rule things in the house over which I am supposed to preside he would be rather glad for himself, after all.""—Osio State Journal. “believe,” said the fond mother, ‘that George is in love.” ‘It may be so,” returned the practical father, ** and then again it may be nothing but a case of indigestion, A man looks just about as doleful in one case as in the oth- er." —Chicago Evening Post. ae Club Moa LS MANHATTAN, Mar TINI, WHISKEY, HOLLAND GIN, Tom GIN, VermouTH, And York. im ACockrait Must Be Coto To Be Goon; To Serve In Perrect Conoition, Pour Over Crackeo Ice, (Not Snaven) Stir Ano Strain Orr. LUCK IN THE GRAVE! He said that he was tired of life. seemed always camping Upon his trail to handicap all he might un- dertake. For many long and weary months he'd worn himself out tramping The rugged Colorado hills and never made a stake. No hill or gulch for miles around that he had not prospected, But not a color nor a streak had met his searching eye ; And now, most awful sick at heart and thor- oughly dejected, Ie sought a wild, secluded place to lay him down and die, Bad luck He started in to dig a grave in which to do his sleeping Till Gabriel should wake him up upon: the final day, Emotions of the wildest sort throughout his bosom sweeping To think that he must quit the earth in such a beastly way, A dose of poison he'd prepared—a pint of cac- tus whisky, Such as is kept for Indian trade down at the agency— And hoped that when he faced the deal he'd feel so wildly frisky ‘That death would seem a picnic—but a ‘mortuary spree. But best-laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley, and soon he Was whooping in a joyous way and dancing in his grave And acting” most looney— He'd struck a lead of sylvanite o'er which a god would rave! He sold it toa tenderfoot for twenty thousand dollars, And life for him now carries lots of sugar in the cup; ‘And at the faintest thought of death with fear he almost hollers, And every time he catches cold he hunts a doctor up. decidedly, emphatically —Denver Post. “* No," she answered coldly ; ‘* I cannot mar- ry a man who carries a rabbit's foot for luck.” For a moment he contemplated her in intense silence, but only for a moment. _‘* Who,” he exclaimed, ‘can doubt rabbit's foot after this?” Then he left her for- ever, pausing only to laugh the wild, mirthless laugh which was suitable to the occasion.—De- trott Journal, A dealer near you sells Evans Ale~Stout (623 If you can’t find him let us know C,H. EVANS & SONS, Hudson, N. ¥. the efficiency of the MY PAT PRIEND'S SMILE. My {at friend’s smile—it's a homely phrase, Bat it takes me back to the other day: ‘To the other days, when the heart was young And its saddest songs were yet unsung. My fat friend's smile —I can see it yet, With its twinkling mirth that I can't forget, And the wrinkles‘and dimples that made for me ‘A map of the land of Jollity. You knew when you saw it ripple and start From his laughing eyes, that it came from his heart. “Twas the smile of a friend who was true to me— The sort of a smile that is good to see. My fat friend's smile—well, it's good to know That \ou had such a friend in the long ago. And it brightens many a weary wbile— This thought of my fat friend and his smile. I expect, if the pearly gates ope to me, My very first inquiry there will be : “Have you seen.an angel who's built on the style Of my fat friend with the merry smile ?* Baltimore American, SOLID TRAINS to NORTHERN MICHIGAN. ‘The Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul Rail- way is now running solid trains of patace sleep- ing-cars, dining-cars (serving meals A la carte) and first-class day-coaches through from Chi- cago to Calumet, Houghton. Hangock and oth- er points in the copper country without change of cars, with direct connection for Marquette, Negaunee, Ishpeming, etc., and passengers from the east, south and southwest will find this a most desirable route. All coupon ticket-agents sell tickets via the Chicago, Milwaukee and St. Paul Railway. THE GARGOYLE. Iam a gargoyle, gaunt and gray, Carwu in an ancient, ancient day, Aloft and alone On a coping of stone, Chained far out of a mortal's way ; Perched by the flange of a leaden gutter, Where the street-roar dies to a mutter, Lean of muzzle and lank of limb, Gaunt and gray and jagged and grim. Up to my air floats the belfry’s tone, When the cathedral chimes are flown, ‘To be down-hurled To the skirt of the world— And then I must bow to the notes alone, In and among them beats the shout Of sturdy watchman and roustabout, Joyous, while I crouch still and drear, Grizaled of mane and cold of ear. Once— a workman crawled on high ‘And swung his ladder across my sky, Clinging, bold, ‘To my claws’ stone-hold, And fondling me with his hands; and I— Would have bent down and flung him down, down,-down— Onto the seething, human town, Only—the chimes began just then And I had to bow me to God again, —Post Wheeler in New York Press. He—"1 beg your pardon, but—er—I did not quite catch the name” She—"* Miss | Fitz-Mount-mo-rency."” He—"' Thanks. What a pretty name! and so uncommon,” She (laugh- ingly\—* Did_you think I was called Jone: He (feebly}—""A—pardon ; but—er—my name is Jones."—Boston Transcript. Her father—* No, young man; my daugh- ter cam never be yours.” Her adorer—*I beg don ; I don't want her to be my daughter— want her to be my wife."—Harlem Life, Social of society? And is any ot sible, from disinterested testify from practical experience, What a pity all social questio ‘ing about. Those who are bus) BE SURE as the above one; but their answers r Needs. ‘Whatever questions of Social Needs may exist, and however much we may rack our brains to discover satisfactory solutions of them, there is at least one—and certainly not the least important —province, in which the solution has been found. gestion “What is our best dally beverage?” of importance t0 all For is not the ther answer to that question pos- ms, than Van Houten’s Cocoa? It is more wholesome than any other drink, it is nourishing and easy to digest; refreshing, without acting injuriously on the net vous system, in the,way that Tea, Cotte, and other drinks do; and its-delicious flavor in.no way palls on the taste after continu- ally using thecocoa. As regards its price, it is, as thousands can not at all dear to use. ns cannot be answered as easily equire a great deal of think- thinking about them, cannot do better than take a cup of Van Houten’s Cocoa daily, as for help- ing the brain-worker it is without equal. YOU TRY VAN HOUTEN’S Eating CHOCOLATE. Jones—" Dear me! why aren't you for ex- Mrs, Pratt (angrily\—"* Oh, you think you Pratt (calmly)— T've been in the real-estate business nearly thirty years.""—CAi- know a lot, don't you?” Mr. “Well, ought to, my dear cago News. THE CELEBRATED HEADS THE LIST or THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Warerooms, SOH MER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 220 STREET. pansion?" Johnson—'* Because I don’t want to stay at home all the time. If we keep on expanding there won't be any ‘abroad’ to go to."—Kansas City Indetendent, Tommy—"' Papa, my new watch has ped.” A Tommy—" No, papa. Mamma says Weekly. Established 1823. | WILSON WHISKEY. T + THE WILSON DISTILLING CO. | Baltimore Md. hat’s All! comicbooks.com father" Have you wound it? it’s wrong to wound even the tiniest creature.” —/ewelers*