Judge, 1899-12-23 · page 39 of 46
Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces: **"Hard to Learn"**: A cartoon about marriage incomprehension—two men discuss how one barely knew his wife after a month of marriage, while the other admits ten years in and still doesn't know his wife. It satirizes the supposed mystery of married life. **"A Request"**: Street urchins (indicated by dialect spelling) ask wealthier boys what they received for Christmas. One got a deluxe edition of Browning poetry; the poor child just wants a bite to eat. The satire mocks class disparity at Christmastime. **"Christmas at Owen O'Whitt's"**: A sentimental Irish-dialect story about poor tenement dwellers. A warehouse fire destroys nearby property, and sunlight finally enters their dark apartment. Owen's family finds joy despite poverty. The final section, "His Interpretation," shows a schoolboy misunderstanding the word "forfeited" as "fortygrafted"—a joke about working-class children's limited education. The page overall contrasts wealth and poverty, particularly during Christmas.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ffs fers —s fib [ere HARD TO LEARN, ** Lhad known my wife only a month when I married her.” “Pooh ! have been married ten years and I dont know my wife yet.” A REQUEST. Cuumaie—" Wotcher git for Christmas?” ReGINaLb—" I received an edition-de-luxe of Browning.” Cuimsue—" Um-um! Gimme a bite, will yer?” CHRISTMAS AT OWEN O WHITT'S. A McGarvey Story. IVIN pity thim poor payple thot lives in dark houses O'Whitts and the merry Christmas thot it mint to thim, did yez?" Oh, moy! "Twor gr-rand! ‘The sun, whin it at Christmas toime! And hivin pity thim thot lives in the loight and be not thankful for it ! Mayloike yez have noticed the big tinimint thot stands at the foot av the hill, wid great warehouses loomin’ hoigh on thray soides av it, and the cold north skoy starin’ it in the face. Owen O'Whitt lives there wid Molly O'Whitt and the kid. Up. up thray long floights ay stairs it is to the little dark rooms they calls home, rose on thot blissid mornin’, shone plump inty the rooms where the O'Whitts lived, for the wall thot had kipt it out wor gone, and thot kid wint near crazy wid j'y. And Owen gits a job hilpin’ clear away the ruins, and Mol!y —will, Owen looks inty the oyes av her and says he, “ Darlin’,” says he, ‘*'tis a rale blissin’ thot yez wor born ; for if yez hadn't been,” says he, Oi'd be did long ago from bemoani missed !” Dim thinkin’ what Oi'd DAVID M, TALMADGE. and down, down the same stips it is to nothin’ but icy pav mint and bi ter, bitin’ wind. God bliss thim! "Tis a poor choice aither way. And yit they be cheerful, for will they knows thot to be otherwoise be dith. "Twor on the day before Christmas thot Owen looks inty the whoite little face across the table from him and smoiles. And the kid smoiles back, and Molly smoiles at the both av thim. ‘Thot noight when they wor aslape there comes a horrible sound av crashin’ to their ears, and they starts up in terror—all but the kid. He clasps his hands togither and ixclaims, says he, “'Tis Santy Claus! He's tome to bring our prisints “Sure, thin,” says Owen, who's had his hid out av the windy, “he’s run inty the warehouse here and knocked it down !" “Is he hurted, do yez think ?” says the kid. “Naw,” says Owen, “don't yez belave it, me b'y. Yez can’t hurt thot felly! A brick house can fall on him and he'll niver moind it at all.” And the kid wor comforted. Yez remimber, av course, whin thot buildin’ down there collapsed, but yez didn’t know of the HIS INTERPRETATION. Teacher—"* Johnny, construct a sentence containing these words.” Jounny (who wants nothing but a Kodak forChrisimas)—'* De t'ree men was fortygrafted.”” comicbooks.com