Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HRISTMAS CAPERS. It is the Christmas stocking that bags at the knee. Because your rich un- cle always remembers you at Christmas is no reason why he will remember you in his will. Christmas comes but once a year, but the way some people growl about the expense one would think it came once a week. There is a dark side to everything. The big golf-stocking would be a first-rate thing to hang up at Christmas if it had only a foot in it. Many achild pretends to believe in Santa Claus THOUGHTFUL OF HIM. because he profits by it, Tie Monit: w fortunate that Mr. Blowit gave his wife this sealskin sacque just in time for our Christmas dinner. and many a man does the same about other things for a similar reason. It is suggested to our generals in the Philippines that nothing would please Uncle Sam more than to wake up on Christmas morning and find Aguinaldo in his stocking. “The bargain-counter woman who bought her son a toy-pistol for thirteen cents Last fourth of July and had him die of lockjaw now once more tempts providence by purchasing her hus- band a box of forty-nine-cent cigars. THE FEMININE WAY. +S YVHY does Dolly Dimpleton hate Harry Slowsmith so bitterly 7” “Oh, she told him not to give her anything for Christmas—and he didn’t.” SOLD AGAIN. ss} JA. HA, HAS" cried the country store-keeper. "So one Christmas morning you awoke to discover the stock- ings you had hung up filled with coal, eh? Well, that was one on you for once.” “No,” replied the village wag; “‘it's another on you again. I was up in the Klondike that Christmas, and coal ‘was one of the most valuable and useful presents a man could receive.” . A CONNOISSEUR. Crawford— \t's hard to understand a woman. Here's my wife buys me a box of cigars for Christma et she never allows me to smoke in the house.” Crabshaw— Judging from the cigars, old man, that’s where she shows her good taste." CHRISTMAS ?? H, SANTA CLAUS! ob, Santa Claus! And art thou like the rest ‘Who coldly pass the poor folks by To give the rich thy best? ‘And shall the merry Christmas time Be but the time to add ‘More pleasures to the happy hearts Of children always glad? THE PROSPECT. COmmaNT 1899 BY JUDGE COMPLY OF NEW YORK. os Freddie—"\f 1 ate all those ° mince pies ma made do you think WHERE THE STRAIN CAME IN. she would lay me out ?” Miss SrarkLEr—"' I suppose the composition of a great poem is an exceedingly exhaust- Cobwigger—" No; but I think aye the undertaker would.” Ma. Porricus—"‘Oh, it’s not that, you know. It's being obliged to go through a course of training before presenting it to an editor that breaks one down, you know Cachet Wideins Lib & it Ca Rew York comicbooks.com