Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DIFFICULT TASK, Tue irre —* L wish you would teach me to whistle.” AN APPROPRIATE CEREMONY. S¢ VILL there be anything in the way of a Christmas- eve entertainment in town to-night?” inquired the tourist. “Sure thing!” cheerily replied the landlord of the tavern at Boomopolis, Oklahoma. “The boys are goin’ to lynch a couple of Chinymen after supper.” A CLINCHER. Teacher — Of course there is a Santa Claus.” Bright scholar—* Then why doesn’t the post-office de- liver the letters that are addressed to him every Christmas ?” IS CHRISTMAS IN THE PHILIPPINES. ‘The sun is like a blazing bomb ‘Stopped midway in its flight ; ‘The jungle reeks of blood by day ‘And smells of death by night. T sit beneath the dusky palms, My gun upon my knee, And seem to hear the Christmas bells ‘That swing across the sea. A tattered bandage binds my brow, And battle-stress and storm Have madea wreck of what wasonce A natty uniform. These spatters on the ragged breast, ‘These spots upon the sleeve, re Filipino blood or mine, Yet this is Christmas eve. Is that a sound of silver bells Half mufited in the snow ? Nay,o'er the black and smoking huts | Gur brazen bugles blow, Is that the yule-log's ruddy light ‘That flames for me again, Or but a mauser's spiteful flash Above the trampled cane? The rebels in the trenches sang Last night a dolefal song. But sweeter themes and dearer tunes an ‘To Christmas eve belong. 4 \So, comrades, join me with a will, No carol let it be; But roll from every soldier-throat “My country, "ts of thee.” Unsheath the trusty sword, my boys, And cross the ringing steel, The clearest of the Christmas bells Gives forth no truer peal. ‘Though Bethlehem’s star may gleam ‘no more From night's bejeweled dome Look up! in yonder glorious flag Shine all the stars of home MINHA IRVING. A NATURAL INFERENCE, Bobbie —" | saw Santa Claus down in one of the department stores to-day.” Mrs. Crawford —* Well. my dear, why should that make you cry?” Bobbie. — He'll be sure to give me a lot of bargain-counter presents." MISUNDERSTOOD. Mr, Dizzientap —"' Here Iam walking arm in arm with you, the only girl I ever loved, by Jove! The ways of Providence are strange.” Miss SiLveRBANKs —" Rhode Island always was a queer state.” comicbooks.com