Judge — December 23, 1899 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BOBBIE AT CHRISTMAS. NE wonders he was ever rude And liveda life of lies ; For now he likes to show how good He can be when he tries. WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS. Madge—"I'm so glad I gave Charlie a gold watch last Christmas.” Dolly — Why ?" Madge — “ Because he will be able to raise enough money on it to buy me a nice present this yar” : WHAT WORRIED HIM. Epitn—‘‘ Do you s'pose the Lord saw us while we was THE SEEDS OF stealing that jam ?” _"* ¥ the Lord if DISBELIEF. santa CUNY didnt eas, “hut fs geting too vear Christmas to Willie —“ Say, ma, fool with Santa Claus much.” my cousin Browning, in Boston, is one of these here sophists that you said ridiculed sacred things.” Mrs. Blessed—" Ah, how so, Willie?” Willie—" Why, he said that Santa Claus could never bring drums and other things down through a chimney if they were bigger than the hole in the chimney.” A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION. Jos Grees— Thet, ’Mandy, is a fire-escape. I don't know ez I kin explain exactly how th’ fire escapes down the dinged thing, but s'pose'it works on th’ principle uy a light- i ed nin'-rod. “WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK.” SERRE WAS the night before Christmas, and all through the house not a creature was stirring" save Spike Fennessy and his burglarious partner, Bill Pil- lage, who was cautiously engineering the dark-lantern, “Hist !" exclaimed that worthy in a low whisper ; “ some one is mov- in’ in the street. 1 heard cautious footsteps an’ a dray back up ter th’ curb.” Peace !" whispered back the more professional Spike; “some one is indeed moving—moving to escape paying rent. They have my sympa- thies because I have been there; but have we secured all the * swag"? "Yes," replied Bill softly ; “all but the piano, an’ I'm afraid ter take dat; the installment people are in- vet’rate in houndin’ and placin’ be- hind bars." “1 know it,” whispered Spike bitterly— as if they were not greater robbers than we. Sure you dumped those two hods of coal along with the other valuables into the bag?” “Yes,” replied his companion; “also the children's stockin’s dat were hangin’ up. I'm in hopes dat dey'l fit . my two kids at home.” : | | Good,” replied Spike; “ordinarily I'd have dis- countenanced that ‘swipe,’ but we are burglarizing a i. : plumber, who is but another robber, so let ’s be off.” et 2 A minute later two forms might have been seen A VALUABLE SUGGESTION. : : : Ahh : SisteR Sow—"* Dis tu'key am to be hung on de tree foh de pahson's Chris'mus-present.” leisurely passing a sleeping policeman, alternately relieving SistEx: MouaaY—~* Better hab iti picked’ hooey. Dara expe baa geod cacy wie cach other of the burden of a ponderous bag. w. x. coox. folks preseat ter-night, an’ dat fowl might be reckernized wid de fedders on it.” comicbooks.com