Judge — December 2, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE LECTURE (A. D. 2500). ++ ]NOW.” said the professor, adjusting the delicate apparatus of the electro- phonograph, “we will have a scene from the ancient gladiatorial con- tests when chosen bodies of young men representing 1wo of the separate institutions of learning of the time fought for supremacy and the cheers of their adher- ents. The exhibition, al- though employing the fists as well as feet, was termed *foot-ball.’ The arena was styled popularly a * grid- iron.’ probably because of the tortures practiced thereon. Now listen, and you can well imagine your- selves right in the mob of spectators.” He pressed the but- ton. “ Rah, rah, rah, Penn- ston! Rah!—Hold ‘em. boys—hold ‘em!—That's the play! That’s— Oh, kill the man in the red sweater! You're up against the real thing now —Kick him in the head— Push ‘em—Rab, rah, rah! much as one’s life is worth to attend one of them, —Round the end— Watch him, Mike'—Good boy, Sprinter; good boy!—Oh, v hoo, wah-hoo!—Rah, rab, Pennston!—One, two, three, four, five—Kill the red sweater !—Here he comes !: y, how are hogs ?—Mis- ter, please give me a curl—Oh, what a pretty face it has!—How does it like foot-ball?— You've time for another touchdown, boys—That's the a way we have— THE STRANGE ADVENTURE DRESSED TO KILL. Pue TURKEY—"' I just got an invitation to a swell dinner. Rab, rah, rah'—One, wwo, three, four, five, six, even. eight, nine, ten, ‘leven!—Oh, it's a way we have!—Who's all right? Sprinter!—What’s the matter with Leftend? He's all right! whole team ‘s all right!—Put ‘im off!—Put the red sweater off— Pull his whiskers, Mike! —Down the field you go, boys!—Push ‘em push ‘em, push !—Rah, rab, rah!" The professor touched a lever and the machine stopped. “Such.” he said, turning with a smile,“ were the war-cries in vogue at our ancient colleges.” eowin t. sasim. HIS OPINION. HAVE noticed,” growled the old cod- ger of Kohack, “that the more vehemently a wo- man insists that she don’t want to marry and won't marry and can't be per- suaded to marry the more she wants to marry and will marry if she gets half, hths, of a chance, and the more she don't have to be per- suaded to marry. 1 am moved to this remark by the way Miss SI who is thirty-three years old if she weighs a pound, and who would never—no, never! —wed any- body but a hero, a celebrity, or a sage, is runnin’ after poor William Cripps, who is neither one of the three, but is marriageable and not much of a tactician, And, furthermore, 1 guess she'll ketch him, for the poor feller has only one leg.” oe Confound these social affairs! It's as Now I-suppose I've got to go and get dressed.” immings, Seedtnee, OF A TALKING DOLL, comicbooks.com