Judge, 1899-11-04 · page 3 of 16
Judge — November 4, 1899 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from early 20th-century America: **"The Only Sure Way"** depicts a country doctor telling a boy that to enter heaven, "we all do in order to enter heaven." The satire mocks rural medical practices and perhaps religious hypocrisy. **"His Day-Dream's End"** is a poem about a boy daydreaming of romance and marriage before being startled awake by reality—typical sentimental humor of the era. **"An Undersized Turkey"** and **"In Boston Town"** appear to be domestic humor sketches about everyday middle-class life—a conversation about an inadequate holiday turkey and a Boston family discussion about a misbehaving child. The overall tone reflects Judge's typical focus on gentle social observation and domestic comedy rather than sharp political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ONLY SURE WAY. ¥ DOCTOR (catechising)—"* Now, little boy, what must we all do in order to enter heaven ?” ie.” ¥ DocToR—"* Quite right—but what must we all do before we die?” Get sick and send for you !” HIS DAY-DREAM’S END. NEATH the pines he throws him down; Above the breezes sing. Lulled by their song, his eyelids droop ; He sees—a marriage-ring, He hears a foot-fall—oh, so light !— The rustle of a gown, He feels his love is drawing near— Above him she bends down. His half-closed eyes can see her smile, Such dreams his senses drug, Till comes a pang. He starts, awakes, And finds—a kissing-bug. Jorn sraxcen, IN BOSTON TOWN. Mrs, Beaconsrani Tam afraid that baby will be the black sheep of the ‘Tue SMART BOARDER—" Mrs, Smithers, that turkey is not done.”” :—'* What makes you think so?” Mrs. SuitHers —* Why, Mr. Stump, I'm sure "—— He doesn't seem to care for ‘THE SMART BOARDER—" No, I mean not done growing.” either Emerson or Browning comicbooks.com