Judge — November 4, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THB JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SU UNITED STATES AMD cAi RIBERS. mm apvance, One copy, one year, or $2 aumbers_- $5.00 One copy. six months. or 26 numbers = 3.90 ‘One copy. for thirteen wees == > 135, Including the Cuzistuas Jvoct. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIO! Soreign countries ‘a year. a the postal Evnoraam sauesacewts—/aternational news : ym, Brentano's, avenue def Oper my ay, Bream's building, Chancery lant, VSaarbach's news exchange, Maina, Corner Fitth Aveave and Sixteenth Street, New York. EW-Circulation larger than a ‘her cartoon weekly im the world. E97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS,—The contents of Juoce a both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of tnis cop vigorously prosecuted. tected by copyright will be promptly a A PRESIDENT without politics? A shoemaker without leather or a last? Why be absurd? UR GOVERNOR 1s a man of parts—that is to say, of any part of the country which needs his presence and his voice. F THE BOER and the Bull armies had had to do the correspondence they would have died of exhaustion without firing a shot. re TEN BRYAN SPEECHES a day are too many. The man can't stand it. Something must be invented to work him with a crank. T 1S CLAIMED by the Dem- ocrats that the returns of Tecent town elections are straws which show precisely which way the wind doesn’t blow. ENATOR MASON gives fair notice that he will stand by Aguinaldo, and we have no doubt his voice is armed and equipped as heretofore. ENERAL FUNSTON needn't be proud of his prediction that the war in the Philippines will end soon. We predicted it a dozen times before he did. MBS:JOHN A. LOGAN asks, ‘Why, chile 7" Whar shall we do with our girls?” Let us be melan- choly and consider what under heaven we should do without them. se WE ANNOUNCE hastily, that the people of this world may get away from it as speedily as possible, that Mrs, Langtry is to write her reminiscences for publication. ‘spesh'ly yo" cranberry kia’.” DEWEY has a salary of nearly fifteen thousand dollars, has little to do, and is the prize most sought for by several wealthy and handsome widows. What does he want of the presidency ? DEWEY took’ great many personal friends into the cabin, and some- body asks the Rochester Post Express what they did there. We thought everybody knew that to go into the cabin is to consult the log. see se FOOT-BAEL JS HERE,” says the Albany 7imes-Unzon, “and the cracking of broken collar-bones is heard throughout the land."” And the cracking of unbroken jawbones, too—pray don’t forget that. see ‘0 CUBAN GENERALS recently discharged from lucrative posi- tions under the government threaten revolution. By all means let the positions be restored to them at once. The country must be saved. “Why, yo" allas tells me yo’ doan’ want none ob my sass, an’ I jes’ lubs your'a— FREE DEATH. THE ATKINSONS must keep out of the jurisdiction of Aguinaldo if they continue to worship free speech. That great man sometimes encounters men who disagree with him, and in such cases he gets them into a quarrel and gets them shot. SEARCHING FOR INSULTS. %DONOVAN ROSSA says it was an insult to Irishmen for Sir Thomas to call his yacht the Shamrock. Here is littleness of which anybody else would be ashamed. The hatred that can turn a plainly- intended compliment into an insult is too unreasoning to be effective. However, let us be glad that Rossa has spoken. If he hadn't it would still be supposed the poor man was dead. A TYPICAL RESULT. H_.© PARSONS of the Greenfield senatorial district of Massachusetts, * Republican, wanted the army retired from the Philippines; and he also wanted a second term as state senator. The army remains, but Par- sons has been retired by his constituents. At the nominating convention recently held he was overwhelmingly beaten, failing to carry even his own town. And as goes the Greenfield district so goes the union, BLOOD IN THE BRYANIC EYE. THE BRYAN MEN of New Jersey have read the gold Democrats out of their Democratic party, and threaten violence to all Democrats who have not been loyal to Bryan heretofore or who hesitate to declare their allegiance to him now. Possibly there is such a thing as being too previous and enthusiastic. For instance, if any gold Democrat should in- sist on voting for Bryan they might kill him with a club. THE SCRUB IS BETTER. ACHTS and smaller craft are tender things. Nothing but a new heaven and a new earth will enable them to race satis- factorily one with another, A breath of wind too much or too little disables them. A ripple on the water is fatal to a small-boat contest; and again, if there isn’t a ripple that is fatal too, There must be a new kind of ocean for their benefit, and the breezes must be controlled far more than they are now. BEATING TIME, 66] HAD RATHER be two or three days ahead than an hour behind time,” says A CONUNDRUM. Dewey. There is such a thing, rae eh? ‘Mammy, why is it yo" is so diff'nt from me?” however, as being too infernally punctual. The party of the oth- er part is certain not to be on hand and there are two or three wasted days—and time is money. The suicide adopts that plan and im- agines he beats fate, and what good does it do him? Oh, let us be punct- ual, but let us not yank out the forelock of time. A FOREIGNIZED CRITIC. POULTNEY. BIGELOW in a lecture in Berlin ridiculed the American purpose to rule the Philippines and incidentally remarked that Amer- icans had succeeded, not in civilizing but in exterminating their Indians. He said, too, that American politicians and newspapers were ruled by the mob, and the mob has the war fever in its brdin. One must go abroad to get the truth, and Mr. Bigelow has been abroad so long that he has enough of it to make him ill. THE GREAT CHANGE, ‘THE EMPLOYMENT of men for house-servants is the beginning of the end as it was pictured years ago. The woman's club has not only come but is numerous. The woman has her place in stores and offices, We may be able to keep house without her, but we can’t do busi- ness without her. She votes in many states. She holds office. She is mayor, and lawyer, and preacher, and school-commissioner. She lectures and talks from the stump. The man must go into the household and wash dishes and sweep floors, and presently he will be milliner and dressmaker. comicbooks.com