Judge — November 4, 1899 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INCOGNITO. drunk, the last words had been said, and the féte of the night was over. But the elegant apartments prepared for the sleeping quarters of Admiral Dewey were untenanted. Their guest came not. No, indeed ; for on leaving the hall the admiral had given the committee the slip and had scuttled down a modest side street to where was displayed the transparency of an all-night chop-house. Down Turning up his coat-collar and wiping the terrapin ‘ , ical crumbs from his mustache, he entered, i “ Well, gent, what's workin’ on yer mind?” asked the Z i ‘The gr waiter. ‘ "1 : When ; ; Z at { \j And th “T should like a glass of plain water, and a ham sand- / | NS wich and a little mustard,” resolutely said the great admiral. White EDWON L san 4 é hai HOW IT HAPPENED. ets Z ! White man—" Nearly a hundred years old, ch? To —_ They what do you attribute your longevity, uncle ?” er Uncle Shinpaugh —" Sah? Wat's dat yo! specifies Za d *bout de distribution ob my longitude, sah?” Oh, = White man—" Why, | asked you how it is that you have lived so long? Uncle Shinpaugh—" Uh, dat’s it? I specks, sah, it’s b’kaze I neber died.” STUFFING. “Some folks stuff their turkey ‘fore they cook it, but I stuffs mine after it's cooked.” NEEDED ATTENTION. DOROTHY was greatly astonished at seeing her Aunt Sue's new water - carafe. “Goodness! mamma,” she whispered anxiously, “just see how the bottom of that bot- tle ‘s swollen.” a rece liesuy 9 REWARD. ow Hi ine = Yh Sse LONG upon the beaten rocks of years She waited woman's gift upon the tide, Youth vanished, grief and trial washed with tears, But duty kind, and patience smiled beside. And when love came at last, as love will come Or soon or late, to bring its crown denied, Her angel seérs smiled to see her dumb— This humble soul whom they had glorified. EMMA PLAYTER SEARURY, A DEFINITION, WHO DID HE MEAN? 4 Little Mike (in the midst of his reading) —“ Feyther, Crusoe (af the dime-museum)—"' Hey, Patsy! come over here an’ git yer money's wort’ phwot is an incubus?” an’ see dis great big coon !” McLubberty —“ Thot's roight, Moikey! Phwiniver yez foind a worrud thot yez don’t un- derstand, come to me wid ut. Shure, an incubus is wan av thim ixtinct bur-r-r-rds thot lays iggs as big as yure hid.” xT Fr HOE ‘ WHO'S AFRAID? Larrux “Liza—"" Did yo" eva notice how mach faster yo! kin run when yo' skeered at sumfin’?* Cuorus oF Boys —"* Go “long, gal; we ain't skeered ob nuffin’. comicbooks.com