Judge, 1899-10-14 · page 5 of 16
Judge — October 14, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces reflecting early 1900s American concerns: **"An Unpardonable Blunder"** mocks General Aguinaldo (Filipino revolutionary leader during the Philippine-American War) by suggesting Filipino officers were trained to retreat rather than charge—a jab at perceived military incompetence and colonial-era racial stereotyping. **"No Help for It"** is a light romantic comedy: a man broke his engagement because the ring was too large for his fiancée, forcing him to find another woman to wear it—simple social satire about dating and materialism. **"The Resemblance"** features Aunt Philenda comparing a Buddhist monk's ascetic discipline to her niece's late husband, who was equally silent but preferred idleness and gossip to spiritual practice—satirizing hypocrisy masked as virtue. **"Judge's World's Fair"** and **"The Silver Lining"** are minor pieces on appearance and optimism. The page blends political commentary (Philippine conflict), personal relationships, and character humor typical of Judge's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AS THEY NEARED THE PIER. * Isn't that Miss Gotrox’s yacht, fast to the pier there?” Yes; and there is Miss Gotrox herself, and Lord Dough- natty, She is fast to her peer, too.” AN UNPARDONABLE BLUNDER. General Aguinaldo—" Colonel Torpedo, you are reduced to the ranks for stupidity in action.” Colonel Torpedo— But, your excellency, there must be some mistake. I led a charge "— General Aguinaldo— Yes; that was the mistake. Filipino officers are instructed to lead retreats. not charges.” NO HELP FOR IT. S¢\YJHAT made you Ww break. your en- gagement with Miss Frocks?” asked Spatts. “I had to,” replied Hunker. “Why?” “The ring I bought was too large for her. Had to find a girl who could wear it.” THE RESEM- BLANCE. . SH’M-YES 1 ejaculat- ed shrewd old Aunt Philenda Broad- head, glancing up from her reading. “ Here is an item about a Buddhist priest who claimed to have sat in a cave in Ceylon with his legs crossed for six years, during which time he spoke to no one and subsisted on half an inch of a blade of grass daily. “In some ways the item reminds me of my niece Elvira's first hus- band, who yawned. him- self to death. He was just about as accomplish ed a setter as that old priest claimed to be, but he preferred the corner grocery to a cave, and talked as persistently as the priest kept silent— runnin’ the gov'ment and to-morrow, next week, or tel nei sTawbws A No, XXXIX.—SWEDE GIRL, Eaquisite blonde! at frst your shoes Resemble tnenty-ones or “twos; Bot that's because in show-shoes wide Your own wee toorsy-wootsies hide. $o, you're all right {rom top to toe— cago compliments don’t go. ni . Dear, dainty, blue-eyed, fazen thing, You are too Swede for anything! lin’ what great things he was goin’ to accomplish xt year. He greatly preferred three large square meals per day to of a blade of grass; but it strikes me that the resemblance between ‘em was positively THE SILVER LINING. Es (after the cyclone)—*And only to think! Mamma was coming next week to make us a good, long visit.” ES (with a relieved sigh)—"* Well, after all, things might have been worse.” artlin’ on one point—their masterly ability as liars.” comicbooks.com