Judge — September 23, 1899 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

widge WHEN NANCY BATHES. HEN Nancy bathes I seem to view Dame Venus in a suit of blue— A costume just a bit risqué And far more witchery in it lies Than all her frocks of silken guise Or Redfern gowns décolleté, And Cupid ’s at her heels alway When Nancy bathes When Nancy bathes, alas! I feel The green and yellow monster steal; One wish alone torments me then, ‘That of this earthly race but one Were left unblinded ‘neath the sun, Most blest and happiest of men, To look and sigh, and look again, When Nancy bathes. THEODOSIA FICKERING CARRION. HOW IT HAPPENED. DAME NATURE was ever so busy that day, and things that were cautious kept out of her way; and, truly, 1 wonder, for she was at work Paes marine something that would not allow JUDGE'S FAVORITES. her to shirk; it took every DOROTIY, MORTOS thought of her wonderful mind, Dolly, dear Dolly, devoted to pleasure, fresh beauties for this pet ct ‘Spring-time and youth are so fleet on the wing! Give us a portion, at least, of your lelsure— tion to find, and that sort of thing. When man was created. as You cant take it with you wherever you go you will recall, ‘twas after the making of things great and small — the lions and carwigs, the tigers and fleas, the monkeys that hang by their tails to the trees—and Nature was weary, so that goes to show why man is the imperfect thing that we know. But after a sleep and a bath and some food Dame Nature was in her most affable Be et Sets hls mood, and she started to work on what none can resist—thus, woman, her masterpiece. J 000000000000000000 came to exist. She fashioned her lovingly, made her so fair, with stars for eyes and the ———S sun in her hair; she worked and she worked, till so tired out she grew that she slept at ‘0. II.—DAVID PEANUT HILL. . her work for a minute or two; and while she was sleeping some naughty, bad imps thought, JUDGES design for etsined-glass windows to be placed in they would put in a few scallops and crimps; so they sharpened the tongue of the woman Ab, me! they made it as keen as could possibly be (and they made it a tiny bit longer, you know) and they geared up her temper as high as ‘twould go — they gave her some bundles of prickles and curves, and laughed when they said these were only her nerves : and last, but not least, as you freely may guess, they gave her a horrible passion for dress. Then Nature awoke with a start and a jerk and turned an affectionate look on her work. ‘There was little to do, but it meant véry much, so she gave to the woman the fin- ishing touch: she gave her a heart that was loving and true, so big and so pure and so warm through and through that the imps sat around in a dolorous row because their perceptions compelled them to know that, though the great work could be perfect no more and though imperfections be counted a score, that all would be judged at the brightest and best while that true heart beat warm in the fair woman's breast. JaxnIE DoDswoRTH Lockwood. NOT IN HIS LINE. AcENT—"' I'd like to make a picture for you like this—Rembrandt and Vandyke ain't in A = 4 it with this picture. Have you ever been done in oil 2" Stas Wavnack—"* No, stranger; I don't gamble thet way—but I've had a gold brick.” comicbooks.com