Judge — September 2, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OLD oosteR—"* Well, if that hain't ungratefulness ! yanked out in a fight with a rooster that insulted my wife, and now she goe shines up to a peasock just because he looks pretty.” BEING HALF RIGHT. T IS curious how: words, expressions, and even whole phrases, go by ail. feathers and, ntelligent people for a considerab'e part of their lives without correct pronunciation or without prehension of the'r true meaning. It is related that a congressman became very ind} and nearly brought on a fight because a colleague in debate had said that he was his « nent’s pecr. It transpired that all his life the latter had thought that peer meant superior. \ most estimable lady. reared in the south, was ripe in years before she learned that “damn yankee” was not all one word; while a friend of mine was a grown man before he gave up saying that he had served as a ~ pall-burier.” One of my college boys relates that few weeks ago a young man in the col- lege town had died, and his sisters sent two relatives to ask three or four of the students to act as pall-bearers, ‘They found them on the foot- ball field and, calling them to one side, stated their errand. It em- barrassed one of the boys, and he an- swered, before the rest could DIPLOMACY, DISILLUSIONED, With her witching smile ‘That gleamed the while, Her blush and her dainty dimple, Thad thought her simply perfect, but I found her perfectly simple. say a word or do anything to stop him,“ We are very sorry, but we've got another engagement—we've got to goto Nashville to-morrow to play foot: ball. Please tell his sisters that we're just as much obliged to them for the invitation and sorry we can’t accept it.” My friend, with the carelessness of youth, concludes his story by saying, “ They drove on down town and picked up three or four other fellows that did just as well.” NOT RESPONSIBLE. MWoman—" You don’t expect me to believe the story that you haven't had anything to eat for two days, do you ‘TACTRUL SHOR-CLERK—" Here is a pair of one-and-a-half shoes that the maker has marked number Tramp—*\ dunno, ma’am, I'm rot respon- six by mistake. Just try this on, please; I believe it will just fit you ” IN CONFIDENCE. & woman quite unused railway travel, and her bags And various bundles much amused ‘The little boys and older wags. At last she reached her stopping-place, And Will the brakeman kindly came And helped, with his good - natured grace, ‘The much-incumbered country dame Ob, thank you kindly, sir,” she said “Don't mention it,” quoth courteous Till, ‘To which, while blushing rosy red, She murmured, "* No, I never will.” MELEN W, GROVE, KNEW HIS BUSINESS. Theatre-manager — You've got pretty thin lot of women in that ballet.” Proprietor of show (wearily)— t's time they were vaccinated again.” (Trial and speedy sale.) sible for your belief.” asin, - i: GOOD-BYE, EAG! Why do you think the bobolink should be our national bird 7” *B b’ is Scotch, ‘0’ is Scotch, ‘links’ is Scotch, and the whole thing is * golf comicbooks.com