Judge — July 22, 1899 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The man who has troubles of his‘own is not) ‘Which would you rather, Johnnie,” asked @ unfortunate. It is the man who has the! the fond mother, “have the measles and stay troubles of his wife, the troubles of his own | at home, or be well and go to school?” ** Rath- relatives, and of all her relatives, who needs|er have the measles and stay at home. But, weeping with.—It is always a matter of sur-| then, I'd like to go to school, too,” said John- prise that tombstones, in extolling the women| nie.‘ But why, darling 2” urged his mother. uoier them, don't relate that they were active | ** So I could give all the other fellows the mea- at church socials. —Artansaw Vhomas Cut. | sles." —Tid-Bits, Bereaved husband—"* Ves, my poor wife was a great admirer of pearls.” ‘Aenuster e's entered the gates that are studded with them, let us hope.” Husband—"Ah! fear they could never induce her to pass them.” —/ewe/- “hear that some of the ways in which old | ¢7!° Weekiy. Gcrrox made his money were rather shady."| 1) . sather is hardly the word. Why, even his| The Sohmer pianos are recommended to the chirch came near firing him "—/ndianapolis| Public for their power, purity, richness and Sponal quality of tone, and are considered the most — durable and reliable pianos ever made. Physicians will tell you Dr. Siegert's Angos- tara Bitters is the best of all tonics and stomach regulators. Druggists sell it. You are not angry with me beeause I threw a \iss to you, are you?" he asked. “Yes. 1] «No, si an,” she replied, ** Why?” he inquired." Be- cave there was no impenetrable barrier be- twccn us that made it necessary,” —Brook/yn Ea_te. " exclaimed the legislator emphat- ically; "I never accepted a bribe.” ** Ts that so?" was the reply of the man who knew him, “The representatives of the corporations are really honest, then ?"—Chicago Eveni Ve best tonic extant—Abbott's, the Orig- oe . | Angostura Bitters. Ask your druggist or| _ It is said that forty-five per cent. of the vine- wt gar used in the United States is manufactured a in Chicago. We Chicagoans do not claim, What do you consider the greatest object | however, that this is sour best claim to great- of interest in America?” asked Miss Cayenne. | P€88-—Chicago Times-Herald. ~ Well,” answered the lecturer, ** I arrived here day before yesterday, and "—— “Of course,” | + glow did the j she exclaimedly apologetically, "I meant the | curious outsid B’Jarge !" replied one of greatest object of interest next to yourself.” —| the ex-jurors, ‘* th’ ‘leven av us shtood on that Washington S conthrary brute av a wan till be gave in.”"— Chicago. Tribune, ry stand at first?” asked a “Poor man!” said the lady of the house, “you looked half starved. “If you'll cut some wood I'll give you a good dinner.” ** Madam,” THE CELEBRATED replied the dignified pilgrim, ** while [am forced to admit that my appetite is quite sharp, t won't cut wood. Good-day."— Phila: ia Record. pe ee “HEADS THE LIST or THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. | SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 220 STREET. EARL & WILSON'S Linen Gollars 2 for 25c. Linen Guffs, Pair, - 25c¢ COB'S ECZEMA CORE! tecrevem tam gicvelass. 0. | _ Fuddy—* That was an odd predicament that Ben Thayer and Addie Moore found themselves in.” Duddy—'* They are_deaf-mutes, aren't CuueTT.PEABODY & Co. they?” Fudily —""Ves. They clasped. each MAKERS other's hands at the critical moment, you know, so that he couldn't ask her to marry him, and she was unable to reply if he had." —Hoston Transcript. 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DOLLY'S CHAPERON. “You are far too sweet and beautiful to To parks and plays she’s gone with me murder me,” protested her husband confident- For eighteen months or more ; ly, Fora moment her hand trembled as-she I've found her best of company mingled carbolic acid with his Hamburg steak. In trips on sea and shore. “Oh, I don't know,” she faltered, blushing. And yet of love she’s never framed “A woman has to be very sweet and beautiful A word for me, I'll own ; in order to be acquitted of the charge of mur- Yet for this lack she can't be blamed— der these days."—Detroit Journal, She's Dolly's chaperon, She never views in listless way Brown—"* You can always tell a young man ‘At Bower-shows the prize who is just out of college.” Jones—"* That's She quite appreciates a play— just where you are wrong. You can’t tell him | __ You see that in her eyes. anything.”—Ohio State Journal, Her sphere of action ’s limited, —_—— ‘The escort ‘s not her own ; But unobtrusive, be it said, Is Dolly's chaperon. Well, what do you think of Chicago?” “It’s a wonderful town—so swift, so sure, such amazing results, It's full of fresh young blood.” “Say, you must have spent ail your time in the stock-yards."— Cleveland Plain Dealer. She's twenty-five, if she’s a day, And Dolly ’s but nineteen ; Her eyes are blue and Dolly's gray— Blue eyes are true, I ween. Since * three 's a crowd” I think, mayhap, I'll woo a maid alone. I've half a mind to set my cap For Dolly's chaperon, —Detroit Free Press, The mistress—* Bridget, 1 don't think it Jooks well for you to entertain company in the kitchen the way you do,” "he cook—* Thanks, mum; but I wouldn't want t take ‘im int’ th’ parlor—he spits Cbaccy."— Philadelphia Bul. letin, Platt will never cut much figure in the na-| Zhe farson—"* Dear me! I'm sorry to see tional arena until he can manage that right| you in this condition. I heard you'd left off swing on the jaw in the eleventh round,—A/-| drinking.” | 7’Ae foper—"* Sho ¥ have (hic) jush bany Argus. ‘ish very minute."—Harvard Lampoon. MAS THE STRENGTH OF GIBRALTA $100 Per Year How can you invest it to the best advantage? Suppose you can, by economy, save $100 per year. Sums of ‘this size can be safely invested in only a few ways, usually at a low rate of interest. Allow us to suggest a plan by means of which you and your family will obtain Immediate Protection by a sum many times larger than your deposit, and at the same fime se- cure a profitable and absolutely safe investment. WRITE FOR PARTICULARS. THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMPANY OF AMERICA John F. Dryden, Prest. Home Office: Newark, N. J. The political probabilities of South Africa| Now there is a controversy as to whether are that Oom Paul will not be the next presi-| Fitzsimmons wrote-a letter. 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