Judge — July 15, 1899 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

46 DOOLAN MAKES A SLIGHT ERROR. Related by Mr. McGarvey. HAT'S a skiptic, is it ? Shure, Oi'm thinkin’ a skiptic’s the felly thot trades the advertoisements in the papers and skips the news; for, boi the grane grass av Oireland, there’s more things not happenin’ and more big toypes used to till av the same than iver before—or longer than thot, Oi dunno. "Tis a skiptic Oi'm afther bein’ mesilf. Doolan wor no skiptic, but he’s a skiptic now. He stops at moi door ivery mornin’ and talks av the great war thot's goin’ on, pointin’ out the black toypes in the paper to prove it, and Oi'm laughin’ at him, and he's gettin’ hot under the collar and sayin’ Oi'm no pay- triot, and goin’ on down the shtrate whistlin’ “ Yan- THE LAST LAUGH. Burctar —" Ha, ha! Excuse me for taking up your time.” Scriwpien —* Oh, that’s all right—the watch only cost a dollar, and 1 will get two dollars for the joke. Ha, ha, ha! And, bejakers, he’s skiptic- in’ more than mesilf since thin, and niver knowin’ the errior he's makin’ boi his egootism—thot's the foine word — thinkin’ all av himsilf and littin’ his mad get up by radin’ nothin’ but hidloines. tf What's thot? Doolan an above omathan? He's not, moi boy. We're all loike thot, only some av us is worse and some not so ; bad, owin’ to the way circum- Des eae edged th stances is foindin’ us. regulator DAVID M. TALMADGE, . THE COMMON LOT. Pater} [8 VAIN the poet years jou sill NX: And midnight oil he burns ; WHERE IGNORANCE WAS BLISS. Still "tis his lot to grieve You say that old man is watching his That mss. receive Cuow Yes ; but the best of it is he doesn’t know it" ** Small profits, quick returns.” \ poet Where kee Doodle * wid variations from “ ‘The Wearin’ av the Grane.” Sa One day he comes to me wid | Rape Repees his’ paper unfolded yit, and Oi'm GE seein’ somethin’s wrong wid him, aven before he’s tillin’ me av it, “Oi has a bit ava foight wid Mulligan yisterday,” says he. *'Twor not much. -He throws a shot across moi bows,” says he, “and Oi answers wid 1% : 3 moi rapid -foire guns, disablin’ 9 FGI | Pp his boiler and spoilin’ bowth : d A pake-holes in the poilot-house av him,” says he, “and he draws off beyond range.” “What av it?” says Oi. “What av it! says he. “Didn't yez see the hidloines last noight ?” * Oi did not,” says Oi. * “Oh, moi!" says he. “Tis the big bafestake they makes. They gives a felly named Hobson all the glowry av it,” says he, “and ‘twor mesilf thot done it single-handed.” * Yez can't d’pind on ‘em no more than thot,” says Oi, wi insoide av me face workin’ con- For no cl ‘m seein’ thot plain, Mrs. Lion —"* The doctor tells me that it is bad for the digestion to run after meals.” Ma. Lion —** But how in thander are we to get them if we don't run after them 7” comicbooks.com