Judge, 1899-07-01 · page 7 of 18
Judge — July 1, 1899 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several humorous short jokes and illustrations typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines. **"A Cool Request"** is a poem by Madeline S. Bridges expressing a desire for cold, winter weather rather than summer pleasures—a contrarian sentiment presented as comic whimsy. **"What They Were Doing"** plays on double meanings: a glass "tumbler" (acrobat in a circus) and a pitcher "crack pitcher" (baseball player) create puns through profession-related wordplay. **"A Jewel"** jokes that the best student writer is Jack Bulger, who excels at writing excuses for other students—satirizing academic dishonesty. **"Out of Reach"** relies on physical comedy: a woman needs a maid to button her dress because the buttons are on her back, making self-dressing impossible. **"Same Principle"** compares small, foolish fish readily taking bait to small, foolish men readily engaging in public debates—a gentle class commentary suggesting working-class men lack judgment. The page is largely lighthearted domestic humor with minimal political content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A COOL REQUEST. CRAVE not sunny field nor plain, No waving wood, no ripening grain. I ask not grass, nor vines, nor flowers, Aught that can hint of sylvan bow- ers; Or birds ‘that sing, or bees that jum, oF Anything that looks like summer. But give me in their stead those caves As vast and cold as giants’ graves, Where creeping chills the blood congeal. Ab, that is what I yearn to feel! Give me the snow-heaped frigid zone WHAT THEY WERE DOING. Where jicatting< wintry), breezes: moan— Tue prvcHer—" Hello, old boy! What are you doing These are the things I fain would nowadays?” NBS . freeze on THE GLAss—" Why, I'm a tumbler in a circus. What To take me through, the sultry are you doing?” 2 ys ig 5 : aa season. THE PITCHER—"' I'm a crack pitcher on a base-ball nine. MADELINE & BRIDGES, A JEWEL. Fatiex—"* Who is the best writer in your class, jack Bulger, Ile writes the excuses for every feller in the class.” AT LAST. FOR bien there's little in life's cup Who waits for something to turn up; And then he finds, to end his woes, When something turns up ‘tis his toes. NOT RUSHED. Everett Wrest Yes, 1 had de diary craze oncet. I got me one of dese here diary-books when T started out on de road, an’ since den I've writ down everyting I've done.” ' Saunter A. Long —"Avtul job, wasn't it?" OUT OF REACH, Everett Wrest—“ Wall, it was fourtecn years Mas. Gikarrr—"' Of course /am obliged to keep a maid to put my hats on, but Tvon't see why ago dat I begun, an’ dis is de lead-pencil dat I start- you need one * ‘ é : ed out wid. It hain’t needed sharpenin’ since.” Mas. Hirreo—* Oh, but Ido. You see, my dresses all button down the back. 3 SAME PRINCIPLE. DEACON JACKSON (ddiseustedly)—"* Why is it dat it’s always de littlest, no-account fishes dat's mos’ ready to tackle de hook ?” : % Rise Deacox Jounsox—* Wha, I s'pose it's on de same principle dat it's always de littlest, no-account men dat’s mos’ ready to tackle big public questions, comicbooks.com