Judge, 1899-07-01 · page 5 of 18
Judge — July 1, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"One Consolation"** jokes about marital disputes—a husband living in a small flat has less room to physically express his anger than in a house. **"Possible Contingencies"** satirizes isolationist hypocrisy: Uncle Jedediah claims to favor international arbitration for disputes, but admits he'd only support war if the arbitrators ruled *against* America—revealing that his principles are merely nationalist self-interest disguised. **"Judge's World's Fair: Juanita of Mexico"** appears to be romantic verse about a Mexican woman (likely referencing a World's Fair exhibition). **"When Greek Meets Greek"** and **"A Brilliant Summing Up"** are brief courtroom humor pieces. **"A Rough Guess"** is a school joke where a student confuses the Duke of Wellington with boxer Jim Jeffries, playing on period boxing celebrity. The page is primarily humor and light satire rather than pointed political commentary. The arbitration piece is the most substantive satirical content, critiquing turn-of-century American isolationism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Coram taws DO nenice. e ceROS—"" I dun't see why you think I've been drinking, my dear His wire—* Oh, no—except you've hung your hat on your horn.” ONE CONSOLATION GAIN and again Would my husband complain, And would carry on like the old Nick: But he's altered all that ince we've lived in a flat, For he hasn't room there to kick POSSIBLE CONTINGENCIES. Uncle Jedediah—" \'m in favor of arbi- tration as a means of settlin’ these here inter- national disputes; but yet I realize that there might be some case where our national honor would demand the tribunal of war.” Uncle Hezekiah—" What kind of a case might such be?" Uncle Jedediah—" Cases where the ar- bitrators decided for the other side.” A LIE ON THE FACE OF IT. WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK. JUDGE'S WORLD'S FAZR, No. XxIV.—JUANITA OF MEXICO. Oh, you ride like a little vaquero, And laugh at the fine caballero— Wit tnowingly uited sombrero, White puting your maite cigarette. No product of puritan teaching ‘An Qwiul exacmpte for preactes— Yet, Juanita with black eyes beseeching, Your memory ‘s sweet with regres A BRILLIANT SUMMING UP. ++ AND now, gentlemen of the jury,” said the district attorney dramatically, I have shown you conclusively that there was blood on the hands of the prisoner at the bar; and had he”—with a convincing gesture— “T repeat, had he at that moment touched the white knob of the door he would have left damning footprints of his awful crime.” | i a A ROUGH GUESS. ‘Teacher—" Why was Wellington called the iron duke?” ScHoLax—"* Well—er—I—er—s'pose he had a ‘duke’ sumthin’ like Jim Jeffries.” comicbooks.com