Judge — July 1, 1899 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAR -9 1940 ¢ 445044 whiage- PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK AT THE JUDGE BUILDING. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCR. One copy, one year. or $2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers ~ One copy. for thirteen weeks = facluding the Cunismas J FOREIC Sorcien ‘a year. SUBSCRIPTIONS jes tm the postal union itd Corner Fitth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. Chancery ta: ‘change, Mai (W-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. E27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain, Infrfngement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. A WOMAN of Arkansas who claims to have jilted Funston will ery her- self to death in about three weeks. P AMLET as presented by Sara Bernhardt is certainly so thin that he doesn’t appear to have a pair of anything to stand on. NNIE BESANT announces her conver- sion to the doctrine of non-resistance. Has she ever been in New Jersey in mosquito time? T 1S TRUE that Mrs. Maybrick is inno- cent, but the dignity of the British gov- ernment cannot be impugned by a little thing like that. CARL SCHURZ may deserve to be adoc- tor of laws, but if he had his way he would doctor every law to death unless he made it himself. HE TEA-DRUNKARD in one of our hospitals furnishes a great moral lesson. Beware of the five-o'clock as you would of the four-o'clock-in-the-morning. N ALLIANCE between China and Japan would resemble that between the wolf and the lamb, with the difference that China is too large for any kind of digestion, SRAEL ZANGWILL says the Americans have a passion for flattery, It is true enough, but the gentleman ought to admit that they give as good as they take. D®- PARKER of London would like to see HE GOT TH Victoria reign ten thousand years. He might take a few years off in behalf of the prince bf Wales, but that would spoil the elo- quence of the round number. favor if I will give you ten c Weary WILLIE—" Yes'm gate says you are *old, bomely so’s ter make it read * young, hi THE MARRIAGE of Paderewski will cost that gentleman a fortune every year. Not that the musical woman who’has hysterics objects to marriage, but she prefers her idol without any matrimonial entangle- ments, Mrs. Hannout—** You say you will do me a great os\ Sear v. Br] SHALL WE LIVE FOREVER? e THe LIFE-GERMS of a goat cannot elongate human life—we are con- vinced of that. Let us have those of a cat and be satisfied with nine lives apiece. Whether the lives shall be consecutive is another question . but it is a great deal-to know that in every instance the cat came back. REFORM? THE AMERICAN WOMAN, tt ts declared, has at last found a way to fasten her dress in the back. The way isn’t descnbed, but we take it that the dear girl is to be married so as to have a husband to do it for her. And the reform will be a failure unless the necessary hooks-and-eyes are greatly enlarged. STUBBORN IGNORANCE. [7 IS TOO often announced that the Filipinos know to a certainty that they must eventually be whipped. Granted; but isn’t it about time ‘that somebody went over there and gave them the definite, detached in- formation? The vagueness of their knowledge ts so pronounced that they may keep on fighting until they are all dead. PROGRESS. THE PRESIDENT dees well to omit four thousand offices from the classified service of the civil-service law; and: the law will be still further improved by omitting all the others. One is affected to tears, however, to observe the grief of the Democratic and mugwump editors. Apparently nothing can comfort them but a few non-competitive offices of their own. A GRAVE PERIL, Most OF THE CUBANS refused for some hours to accept seventy-five dol- lars apiece from Uncle Sam; but they after- ward thought better of it and submitted to the sacrifice with great heroism and some alacrity. What might have occurred if they had continued to refuse is shocking to con- template. They might have got reckless enough to cut off Gomez's head and quarrel ‘one another to death, ALL OF A KIND ‘A MR. SHEEHAN of this town is going to turn Richard Croker out of Tammany hall, and at all events hopes to have a Bryan contesting delegation from this state to the national convention. The Democracy cannot be too much divided in the cause of good politics; but when the convention meets it will be found that Mr. Croker will be so far ahead in his cheers for Bryan that Mr. Shee- han cannot be heard by his side-partner. NO SOUL? MB. HASSKARL. a Lutheran clergyman of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, discov- ers after much study that the black man has no soul. A general adoption of this theory would settle the race problem at once. It would put the negro back into slavery and revive the decision of Judge Taney that he has no rights which a white man is bound to respect. It would save so much trouble; and yet it is to be hoped that the poor fellow will still be graciously permitted to do some of our fighting for us. HE PRICE. ents 7” hobo sign on yer front an’ stingy," an’ I'll change it andsome an’ generous * HIS. BUSINESS. see the head waiter at the Waldor -Astoria He must have had some good tips. made fifteen thousand dollars in Wall street.” comicbooks.com